Good news, everyone! It’s not just journalists who like to celebrate their own stunning bravery; it’s politicians, too. And when their powers of stunning bravery combine, you get something like this WaPo opinion piece:
Opinion: We are entering a dangerous period, 44 former senators write in The Post. The Senate must again stand in defense of democracy. https://t.co/giQcJRcBAa
— The Washington Post (@washingtonpost) December 11, 2018
Oh, goody.
This bipartisan letter from 44 former US Senators is a remarkable (historic) document. It applies to all 100 current incumbents, and in particular to the biggest cog in the democratic wheel — Kentucky Republican Senator and Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. https://t.co/eaRpnHAFi5
— John Dean (@JohnWDean) December 11, 2018
Thirty-two Dems, 10 Republicans and two independents tell their former colleagues in extraordinary letter: “It has been the Senate that has stood in defense of our democracy. Today is once again such a time.” https://t.co/E3EqtQkchw
— Manu Raju (@mkraju) December 11, 2018
Oh, it’s remarkable and extraordinary, all right. Remarkable and extraordinary in its masturbatory awfulness.
This is the worst piece of writing ever committed to print https://t.co/KD8x9RqUgf
— Seth Mandel (@SethAMandel) December 11, 2018
That may sound hyperbolic, but it’s kind of not.
— Scott Kent (@ScottKent66) December 11, 2018
I read the whole thing and I feel like I didn't read anything. There's literally nothing there.
— California Libertarian (@californialiber) December 11, 2018
I love the absolute vagueness of it. You can read almost anything into it, depending on what you think the "national interest" is.
— Pumpkin Abolish ICE Latte (@hmmmm_no) December 11, 2018
I mean all of the best documents in our civic history were born in geriatric reply-all threads
— BleuCheckmark (@BleuCheckmark) December 11, 2018
It’s what happens when you put 44 senators in a room together and ask them to write something. They agree that they should have a lot of words.
— Redbird Craig (@RedbirdCraig) December 11, 2018
“I programmed my bot with 17,000 pages of sophomore poly sci midterms and told it to write an op-ed. Here’s what happened:”
— Steven Z. (@thefinalgun) December 11, 2018
Each of the 44 Senators was asked to contribute seven words, and then they were just assembled into that piece.
— Jeryl Bier (@JerylBier) December 11, 2018
It reads as if each Senator wrote a separate op-ed and all 44 were algorithmically averaged to produce one final piece.
— Stranger Seas (@strangerseas) December 11, 2018
Let’s just say we wouldn’t be remotely surprised if that’s how this thing was produced.
what does it say? I've read through it once, I'm terrified to try again.
— (((Baby, It’s Kampeas Outside))) (@kampeas) December 11, 2018
Seth Mandel highlighted some of the choicest bits:
“It is a time, like other critical junctures in our history, when our nation must engage at every level with strategic precision and the hand of both the president and the Senate.”
— Seth Mandel (@SethAMandel) December 11, 2018
“We are at an inflection point in which the foundational principles of our democracy and our national security interests are at stake, and the rule of law and the ability of our institutions to function freely and independently must be upheld.”
— Seth Mandel (@SethAMandel) December 11, 2018
“During our service in the Senate, at times we were allies and at other times opponents, but never enemies … Whatever united or divided us, we did not veer from our unwavering and shared commitment to placing our country, democracy and national interest above all else.”
— Seth Mandel (@SethAMandel) December 11, 2018
“At other critical moments in our history, when constitutional crises have threatened our foundations, it has been the Senate that has stood in defense of our democracy. Today is once again such a time.”
— Seth Mandel (@SethAMandel) December 11, 2018
Dude.
It’s time to think outside of the box in order to have closure for the dawning of a new era of synergy for our great nation. https://t.co/fg4r8etDnI
— 280CharacterCalvin (@MWBRI) December 11, 2018
These people take themselves seriously. Which works out for them because it almost makes up for the fact that we don’t take them seriously at all.
If someone submitted this to a publication I worked for I would press charges
— Seth Mandel (@SethAMandel) December 11, 2018
I can’t believe this is real.
— Seth Mandel (@SethAMandel) December 11, 2018
Depressing, isn’t it?
The fact that @JeffFlake thinks it’s great is really the cherry on top pic.twitter.com/naD9qEQSuO
— Meg DeBoer (@Meg_DeBoer) December 11, 2018
Because of course.
I didn’t want to abolish the Senate before but now I do
— Seth Mandel (@SethAMandel) December 11, 2018
We’re sorry, Ian Millhiser. You were right all along.
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