Guns don't kill people, pillows do: #assaultweapon list expands

President Obama and congressional Democrats are pushing harder than ever for a federal assault weapons ban, but what exactly constitutes an assault weapon? If we’re gonna ban them, we’d better know what they are! Helpful conservatives are pitching in with some great suggestions:

https://twitter.com/KristinaRibali/status/281511402458472448

A banana #AssaultWeapon #MontyPythonSaysSo

— Duane Lester (@ThatDuaneLester) December 19, 2012

Water #AssaultWeapon

— Mickey White (@BiasedGirl) December 19, 2012

@KristinaRibali Anything my aunt cooks. #assaultweapon

— copycat042 (@copycat042) December 19, 2012

https://twitter.com/ScottAMcLean/status/281512187900612608

ObamaCare #AssaultWeapon

— Allan (@UnrealAllan) December 19, 2012

@KristinaRibali Nail file #assaultweapon

— Ian McNulty (@imcnulty82) December 19, 2012

https://twitter.com/UnrepentantCon/status/281516306187038720

Snort.

Just ask Geraldo. RT @KristinaRibali: A chair #assaultweapon

— Jim Jamitis ???? (@JimJamitis) December 19, 2012

Broken CFL Lightbulbs #AssaultWeapon

— Allan (@UnrealAllan) December 19, 2012

https://twitter.com/ScottAMcLean/status/281512310596583424

Pillow #assaultweapon

— Mickey White (@BiasedGirl) December 19, 2012

https://twitter.com/ScottAMcLean/status/281514383379681280

Bare hands #AssaultWeapon

— It's Only Words (@itsonlywords) December 19, 2012

Carbon Dioxide #AssaultWeapon

— Ramen Numerals (@mattreyu05) December 19, 2012

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Christmas Ornaments #AssaultWeapon (Haven't you ever seen Home Alone?)

— Kemberlee Kaye (@KemberleeKaye) December 19, 2012

#AssaultWeapon Microphones

— Nels (@debitking) December 19, 2012

https://twitter.com/JDKolassa/status/281513293871468545

https://twitter.com/ScottAMcLean/status/281514461406306305

Snide remark #assaultweapon

— Paulsy ? (@Paulsy01) December 19, 2012

https://twitter.com/BackLounge/status/281515113243103233

https://twitter.com/nicoleb977/status/281514811710377984

Moxie #AssaultWeapon

— Jim Jamitis ???? (@JimJamitis) December 19, 2012

Sandra Fluke #assaultweapon

— Demetrius Minor (@dminor85) December 19, 2012

https://twitter.com/KristinaRibali/status/281515792846188544

Watch out!

So, what’s it all boil down to?

BAN ALL THE THINGS! #assaultweapon

— Ashley McCully (@TXTrendyChick) December 19, 2012

We’re in for a treat.