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Our Gift to You This Holiday Season

GOP Rep. Dan Bishop reveals 'some of the most egregious provisions' in Dems' massive omnibus bill

In case you missed it, Democrats, in their infinite wisdom, have put together a massive omnibus spending bill that’s sure to turn America right around and have us heading back in a positive direction. Pinky-promise!

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Wow! All this sounds great! It has funding for all the things! Or at least all the things Democrats want. And don’t worry about where the funding is actually going to come from. Trust them: it’ll all have been worth it in the end. You’ll see!

It all sounds great. Until you actually read the damn thing.

It’s a safe bet that most of them have read it. But there’s at least one congressman who’s currently making his way through it. North Carolina GOP Rep. Dan Bishop and his team are doing their best to navigate this monstrosity in order to understand what sort of stuff is contained within its 4,000-plus pages. And you’ll no doubt be shocked to discover that there’s some pretty terrible stuff in there.

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Read it and weep. Or, rather, fume. Bishop kicks things off with a bang:

Sorry … what?!

Reassuring, isn’t it?

Doesn’t make much sense, does it?

None of this stuff makes any sense.

Don’t get us wrong: we like salmon as much as anyone else, but $65 million is a whole lot of money. As far as we know, salmon will spawn free of charge.

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Again, bees are a vital part of our ecosystem. But “Pollinator-Friendly” roads and highways? What does that even mean?

For what it’s worth, apparently the Democrats aren’t quite sure that the human being and the fish can coexist peacefully. Or that anything can coexist peacefully with human beings:

Well, that’s disturbing.

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And Swamp and Swamp and Swamp.

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Our tax dollars at work!

Needless to say, Sen. Rand Paul should have plenty of grievances this Festivus.

Editor’s note: This post has been updated with additional tweets.

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