As of this post’s publication, the Supreme Court’s decision on Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization hadn’t yet been revealed to the public. But pro-abort feminist warrior princess Jessica Valenti is determined to make the most out of all the time she has to totally freak out about it:

The poor dear. She’s just beside herself.

Both Jessica Valenti and Jill Filipovic live in Brooklyn, which, last time we checked, was part of New York City, which, last time we checked, wasn’t in danger of turning into “The Handmaid’s Tale” anytime soon. If there is no federal “right to abortion,” states still have the power to set their own abortion laws. And Brooklyn pregnant people have no reason to worry.

Aside from that, though, there’s something particularly offensively disgusting about Valenti’s tweet. She seems to be under the impression that the Supreme Court is going to issue a ruling on her personhood. Hello, Jessica. It’s time to slow your roll. Unless a baby hacked your account and sent out that tweet, wethinks you’re being just a tad melodramatic. Not to mention extremely tone-deaf.

Your personhood as a woman was never up for debate. So suggesting that the Supreme Court is poised to unperson you is stupid on its face. But to use this specific wording to argue for the importance of the federal government giving you the right to kill your unborn baby, that’s just … we can’t wrap our brains around that one. We don’t even want to try.

You’re going to be just fine, Jessica. All those unborn babies can’t say the same thing.



Jessica Valenti pokes head out of her ivory tower to ‘elitist white lady’-splain to people who feel unsafe in cities like NYC and San Fran