It was only last week when troubling reports about CNN+’s viewership woes trickled out. But what paid subscription news service doesn’t go through growing pains, right? What matters is that they eventually find their footing and thrive.

Unless, of course, they’re CNN+. In that case, they crash and burn:

Awwwwwww yisssssss.

Mmmm … that’s the stuff. Straight into our veins.

Awww … now that would be just cruel to CNN. Rub it in, why don’t you?

No, seriously, why don’t you rub it in? We’re going to! We’re going to pour salt and lemon juice on CNN’s gaping wound and rub it the hell in.

That guy is all of us right now.

If only someone had warned them that they were digging their own graves deeper with every egg they put into the CNN+ basket.

To be fair, even Ray Charles saw this coming. And he’s dead.

We’ll drink to that.

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