Yesterday, it absolutely broke our hearts to share the discouraging news that CNN’s big CNN+ launch isn’t shaping up to be quite as big a boon for the network as they’d been counting on.

Just devastating. You know, you really do hate to see it. As we mentioned in our post yesterday, CNN’s head of strategic communications Matt Dornic insisted that reports of CNN+’s impending death have been greatly exaggerated.

Gee … that sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Baghdad Matt.

This is an embarrassing look for CNN and CNN+, to be sure. But we’ve paid enough attention to CNN to know that it can always — always — get more embarrassing.

And sweet fancy Moses, did it ever. Thanks to CNN+’s Twitter helpline:

That is … amazing.

Straight into our veins. CNN’s perpetual humiliation sustains us. It’s what keeps us going.

Where’s the chef? We need him to kiss this.

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