Pentagon press secretary John Kirby has been making the media rounds today, and his appearances have all gone about as well as we’d expect them to.

Here they are, in no particular order. Let’s kick things off with this one:

Not a good question to dodge. But John Kirby, God bless him, is willing to try!

Moving on:

Even though those weapons have “a lethality,” no one anywhere needs to worry about the Taliban using them for lethal purposes. It’s fine!

OK, well, even if the Taliban do want to use those weapons against Americans, it’s not like there are tons of Americans left in Afghanistan. They only number in the “low hundreds”:

We did the best we could under the circumstances, OK?

Fair point, Guy. But don’t you know? Americans get stranded all the time!

We’re living in the Twilight Zone. We honestly don’t know how else to explain what we’ve just heard.

Of course they are.

Tomayto, tomahto.

And these clowns are the scary kind.

Shame on John Kirby.

Yep.

And then:

This entire administration is rotten to the core.

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