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Our Gift to You This Holiday Season

Joe Biden's story about confronting Vladimir Putin may not sound believable, but it sure does sound familiar

Joe Biden’s old boss has been out of the White House for a while now, but we all remember how flexible tough Barack Obama was on Russian President Vladimir Putin.

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So there’s a certain comfort that comes from knowing that Biden is picking up right where Obama left off:

See? Joe Biden is one tough dude.

But he’s being modest when it comes to his instincts about Vladimir Putin. Joe doesn’t just think Putin’s a killer; he knows it. Because, you see, Joe Biden has looked deeply into Vladimir Putin’s eyes, and he’s seen some things. Or, rather, not seen one very important thing:

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We actually don’t doubt that Vladimir Putin has barrels of blood on his hands. It’s kind of an open secret at this point.

What we’re far less inclined to believe, though, is that Joe Biden ever told Putin what he claims he told him.

Heh.

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OK, but this must’ve come from somewhere, right? Joe Biden doesn’t just make stuff up. That’s not his style.

No, his style is more plagiarism-y.

And how about the “I looked in your eyes and I don’t think you have a soul” part? There’s something familiar about that, too … ah:

See, now that we can actually believe.

That’s the Joe Biden we know!

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