Better grab your hankies. Kleenex won’t be enough to get through this sob story:

Oh, the humanity! “Writer and community organizer” Adam Roberts has clearly been suffering for years now. We’d post an excerpt, but it’s basically a graphic novel, so you’re just going to have to check it out for yourselves.

Or you could just read these reactions — that’ll have the same effect:

It would appear so. All the same, though. If Adam’s really this upset about having money, there’s an easy fix:

So are we.