As Twitchy told you, Vanity Fair’s out with yet another glowing profile of furry messiah Beto O’Rourke. And aside from the usual nauseating and embarrassing fare, it also contains a few nuggets of eye-catching information.

Like this, for example:

So, he really hasn’t learned any lessons from that whole DWI-and-almost-killing-someone thing, then. But we’ve certainly learned something:

Guuuuh.

Well anyway, one thing’s for sure:

For the love of God, America. Please take Beto O’Rourke’s keys away before he causes any more damage.