Is this why Beto O’Rourke went to the dentist yesterday? To get his teeth all nice and sparkly for Queen Oprah?

Brace yourselves, folks. It’s all happening:

Because of course.

Is it customary for dental hygienists to perform tongue baths?

We definitely know where we’re going: Off to start getting liquored up for this thing. We’re gonna need one hell of a head-start.