Thanksgiving is fast approaching, which means one thing and one thing only: It’s time for our liberal betters to explain to us plebs how to interact with family members who may not share our politics.
There’s no shortage of crappy explainers out there, but this nonsense from the New York Times stands apart from the rest:
OMG they made an RPG-style dialogue tree for the ridiculous "talking politics with your angry uncle over thanksgiving" trope. https://t.co/GRsQBcw6Xv
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
This is not a drill.
I am Error. https://t.co/66V92ZXAvX
— yokotaster (@neontaster) November 20, 2018
That’s it in a nutshell. Commentary’s Noah Rothman took one for the team and waded into this hot mess.
.@NoahCRothman plays with this terrible Uncle Bot thing so you don't have to. https://t.co/7nZFaZwSV2
— Jim Antle (@jimantle) November 20, 2018
You should probably just forgo the popcorn and head straight for the liquor cabinet:
Holy crap, this is infuriating. My first question, I got three choices: argue belligerently, argue substantively, or ask for more information. The only right answer was to be deferential. And I got scolded for it. pic.twitter.com/PjOq8sCup8
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
Maybe, NYT, the subject knows that rote talking points like "health care is a human right" don't require much exposition to understand.
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
Yep. Now not only is it a losing move to argue with the wrong person who is wrong and picking a fight, it's also a losing move to substantively rebut them. You're only winning move is to lay down in front of the treads and accept your fate. pic.twitter.com/GbX5TpACn6
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
Okay, so now talking points bot has gone with "nationalize the health insurance industry." Again, nothing new. My response would probably be $32 trillion 10 year price tag that no state which has tried has adopted it, but I don't get that. So I'm gonna go with a facsimile: 1 pic.twitter.com/Cd1VAVzW2y
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
Every. Single. LOL. pic.twitter.com/YCFHtpbaDZ
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
So now this circular nonsense has gotten us right back to where we started: a statement of first principles. At this point, a rational person would end the conversation, but that's not an option. Going with 2 because they clearly want me to feel my way toward 3. pic.twitter.com/nEcSAOuCf8
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
Yep. "Argumentative responses are more likely to generate resistance." The only winning move is to agree with the premise, even if you don't.
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
Now talking points bot is satisfied that I have lied to him about what I believe in order to preserve his fragile ego and dinner table comity. The off ramp is right there… but I'm going with 3. pic.twitter.com/uf4eKHxAP1
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
Yep. There is one last winning move, and that's to change the subject allowing talking points bot the concession of thinking he's changed my mind and we are in total agreement. This is very much like real life in that regard. pic.twitter.com/DfgeNYtn3P
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
In conclusion, your pathway to a successful political discussion with someone you disagree with is the following: ask their opinion, internalize their opinion, agree with their opinion, and expand upon their opinion with a concurrence. pic.twitter.com/nUJ0vqkePE
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
Good to know.
You're going to love the "conservative uncle chat bot." It's hilarious.
— Peter Vaughan (@SonnyFab) November 20, 2018
That's next…
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
And away we go!
Okay, just for fun, I'll play the liberal and argue with a conservative version of talking points bot. I did the liberal one here: https://t.co/h4BYCBZHSJ Here goes…
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
Oh, God. Of course he's a full-fledged#MAGA trumper. Why wouldn't he be? My options are class warfare, conspiracy nut, or reasonable inquiry. I'll go with that, because clearly… pic.twitter.com/X65R7hQk10
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
You should check out the conversation with a conservative uncle. Watch how they rig it. I just discussed on my show. It's HILARIOUS.
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 20, 2018
I'm doing it right now. I'm so disappointed.
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
But not surprised.
Surprise! That was the right answer. And now we discover that Angry Conservative Talking Points bot is actually possessed of a false consciousness. Time to radicalize the vanguard of the proletariat, y'all! Number 2 it is. pic.twitter.com/HBi5xxOU4Q
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
Note: I am somehow getting the liberal dialogue tree all "correct" here, because conservative talking points bot has very weak convictions. Imagine that.
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
Conservative talking points bot is economically distressed, which is the only reason why anyone would ever support Trump, right? Of course right. Go with 1. I've almost got him… pic.twitter.com/vnFWppxs9H
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
Conservative talking points bot is damn near suicidal at this point. He's on the ropes. I can either offer him salvation if he surrenders to a higher power, or provide him the security that comes from knowing Big Brother is watching out for you. Not quite there yet. 3 it is… pic.twitter.com/WEUp3fJdCi
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
Let's see: 1) Call his nostalgia false and racist. 3) Attack his worldview. Or 2) Radicalize by invoking the power of collective action. I wonder… pic.twitter.com/ckUvDH2X2k
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
This is too freaking much. I got every answer right and, in the end, I converted my Conservative Angry Uncle to collective bargaining rights and the virtue of an expanded social safety net. pic.twitter.com/Z0Irx7rP84
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
So, in sum, your liberal uncle is right and you should just defer to him if you want a fight. Your conservative uncle is depressed and ill-informed, and you can gently convert him
Conservative dialogue tree: https://t.co/h4BYCBZHSJ
Liberal dialogue tree: https://t.co/w95ku8Jq6J
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
Sounds about right.
Best part about this is if you’re a lefty, the dialogue tree shows you how to try and sway your uncle to your position. If you’re on the right it’s all about listening to and agreeing with your lefty uncle. https://t.co/kCZRatg9bL
— Cam Edwards (@CamEdwards) November 20, 2018
It's a little bit condescending because it suggests there's no hope of changing the liberal's mind
— Reluctant Exister (@IriathZhul) November 20, 2018
Why would you want to change the mind of someone who is right and firm in his noble convictions? You sound like you could use a re-education yourself. https://t.co/Io3Dt6tr25
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
Heh.
this is what digital communism looks like https://t.co/PS8FFWafXQ
— Brad Polumbo (@brad_polumbo) November 20, 2018
Never change, @nytopinion. Never change.
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
Meanwhile, this Thanksgiving, it’s probably best to just not look to any media outlet for advice. Just enjoy your family, and if politics rear their ugly head, don’t let them ruin your life. Because it’s just not worth it.
Really, don't talk politics but, if you want, here's my advice: take it with a grain of salt, it's not that important in the long run, but don't abandon your principles either. You won't make your interlocutor happy by lying to them, and you'll betray yourself in the process.
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) November 20, 2018
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