What helps a soda tax go down more easily? Well, it’s not a plastic straw, that’s for damn sure!
Politician: "How do we make Seattle suck less?"
Guy who enjoys actuallying and literalling on the Internet: "EUREKA" https://t.co/POXAKjeK0j
— Cuffy (@CuffyMeh) July 2, 2018
This is a thing that’s really happening. Because of course it is.
Seattle becomes first major U.S. city to ban straws https://t.co/uefv7kvZC8
— The Washington Post (@washingtonpost) July 2, 2018
When plastic straws are outlawed, only outlaws will have plastic straws:
In one fell sip, Seattle on Sunday became the first major U.S. city to ban drinking straws, an environmentally friendly move that leaders hope will spark a nationwide conversation about small, everyday changes that people can make to protect the planet.
…
Now customers at grocery stores, restaurants, food trucks, even institutional cafeterias have to find another way to get liquid into their mouths. Compostable paper and plastic straws are allowed under the ban. People who have a medical need to use a straw are exempt.
Failure to comply may result in a $250 fine, although city leaders told the Times that the initial phase of the law is more about raising awareness.
Oh, it’s sparking conversations and raising awareness, all right. About how utterly asinine this idea is.
Wait. What?
Who is going to enforce this? https://t.co/0aAUJglRkI
— RBe (@RBPundit) July 2, 2018
Why, the Straw Police, of course! And Adrian Grenier:
If we didn’t take the environmentalist Left seriously before, we definitely will now.
And with that, the homeless problem was vanquished forever https://t.co/sOKRWzjNI4
— Stephen Miller (@redsteeze) July 2, 2018
https://twitter.com/kebejay/status/1013798011388882945
https://twitter.com/kebejay/status/1013799676804411399
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Not on the Straw Police’s watch!
Looks like Seattle doesn't think much of disabled people.
— Daniel Gilbert ♿️ (@AccessibleDan) July 2, 2018
Stroke and Bell's palsy victims just got marginalized. Great, just great.
— EmJay (@EmJay_5) July 2, 2018
Sorry, people who need straws for medical reasons. Sucks to be you!
https://twitter.com/SDurinski/status/1013785061722869761
What the hell is this world coming to
— Daniel B. (@uga10) July 2, 2018
Liberals: "OMG, you can't detain people who are entering the country illegally!! ABOLISH ICE!"
Also, Liberals: "Cops will be giving you a $250 ticket if you use a straw."
— RBe (@RBPundit) July 2, 2018
They really need to make up their mind if they want an all encompassing overbearing state or not https://t.co/0F8eJQTRnU
— Stephen Miller (@redsteeze) July 2, 2018
Yeah, but logical consistency isn't our strong suit.
— Pradheep J. Shanker, M.D., M.S. (@Neoavatara) July 2, 2018
Screw the straw ban; this exit idea sounds way more promising:
Just recycle the whole city and try again
— juice (@RexTrillerson) July 2, 2018
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