If Eric Garland weren’t real, we’d have to invent him. No, seriously. If you thought Oliver Willis’ take on Trump issuing a posthumous pardon of black heavyweight boxing champ Jack Johnson was a hot mess … wait til you see Eric “Game Theory” Garland’s:

How … what … how … ?

Indeed it is:

The Gorilla Channel needs to cover this — STAT!

A stretch? A STRETCH??? You need to wake up, Peppermint Petty. Open your eyes!

We’re speechless. We are without speech.

What a time to be alive.

Amazing.

One cannot.