Good news, everyone: The New Yorker is still as awful as you thought.
It's Friday the 13th, not April Fools Day. https://t.co/kOlxXpwQkP
— Jim Treacher is a dumb pseudonym (@jtLOL) April 13, 2018
Evidently they missed the memo, because they actually published this dreck about Chick-fil-A:
I wrote about Chick-fil-A's presence in NYC: awash with cash, Christ, and evangelizing Cows. https://t.co/j4FOKww4u1
— Dan Piepenbring (@DanPiepenbring) April 13, 2018
Chick-fil-A’s arrival in New York City feels like an infiltration, in no small part because of its pervasive Christian traditionalism. https://t.co/wnhMrMBN6z
— The New Yorker (@NewYorker) April 13, 2018
They literally cannot help themselves.
Are you people for real?
— Matt Threlfall (@RiponPreacher) April 13, 2018
— McKay Coppins (@mckaycoppins) April 13, 2018
— Rey De Armas ☕️ (@reydearmas) April 13, 2018
I hate when my city is infiltrated and subverted by the unpatriotic scourge of chicken restaurants pic.twitter.com/omhQtp8u2U
— Everything I Hate is a Terrorist Organization (@notwokieleaks) April 13, 2018
Is there anything funnier than the people who feel perpetually threatened by a Chick-fil-A? pic.twitter.com/kBbtkAamZI
— T. Becket Adams (@BecketAdams) April 13, 2018
Hey. Hate chicken is no laughing matter.
Are you guys really that threatened over a chickenstand
— conscious🤙🏾🇺🇸 (@conscious___) April 13, 2018
Yes. Yes they are:
Today, the Cows’ “guerrilla insurgency” is more of a carpet bombing. New Yorkers are under no obligation to repeat what they say. Enough, we can tell them. NO MOR.
We couldn’t parody this if we tried.
Too smug. Admit it the food is damn good.
— Carroll Sterne (@cpsterne) April 13, 2018
— Gabriella Hoffman (@Gabby_Hoffman) April 13, 2018
It's a chicken sandwich food joint, calm down.
— Patriot76Apparel (@loringlav74) April 13, 2018
Haha. Oh NO those Christians are at it again. 😂 Relax NY sit down have a sandwich. It’ll be ok.
— momza83 (@momza83) April 13, 2018
Lmao you're so mad, it makes their hate chicken even more delicious https://t.co/DZ5rBLPsV1
— David Rutz (@DavidRutz) April 13, 2018
This article is a load of crap. Just eat the food and enjoy or don’t eat the food. Your choice!
— Trish C the Dish (@TrishCtheDish) April 13, 2018
And pass up a golden opportunity to shame Christians? As if.
THE POWER OF CHICKEN COMPELS YOU!
THE POWER OF CHICKEN COMPELS YOU!
— Nando (@TooOldTooStupid) April 13, 2018
HEAD FOR COVER! THE JESUS CHICKENS ARE INVADING! https://t.co/QYG7wGvaiq
— Mo Mo (@molratty) April 13, 2018
"OMG keep your Jesus chicken away from me!" shrieked the Party of Science. https://t.co/a2EXKh3Qhe
— John Hayward (@Doc_0) April 13, 2018
— JavelinaBomb (@javelinabomb) April 13, 2018
It's a freakin chicken sandwich, what's wrong with you people. Do you have an issue with devout Muslims operating Halal carts? Is that an "infiltration?" https://t.co/iKxE2qBDd3
— David Marcus (@BlueBoxDave) April 13, 2018
Trying to imagine the New Yorker blasting a thriving restaurant chain for its "pervasive Muslim traditionalism" or "pervasive Jewish traditionalism" https://t.co/6KFys22iz5
— Peter J. Hasson (@peterjhasson) April 13, 2018
Imagine a Texan getting pissed over a kabob place opening up… I wonder what kind of article the New Yorker would write https://t.co/tvTTfyfLvS
— Mujahed Kobbe (@Moj_kobe) April 13, 2018
We have a pretty good idea.
Some parting food for thought:
The best chicken nuggets. Wonderful, friendly service.
Closed on Sundays and still making a huge profit.
Annoying Christianphobic New Yorkers.
What’s not to love about Chick-fil-A? https://t.co/EVTjCqgTpS
— Kimberly Ross (@SouthernKeeks) April 13, 2018
Get some. Get some!
Editor’s note: This post has been updated with additional text and tweets.