Virginia state Sen. L. Louise Lucas turned herself in to federal authorities Thursday morning on an eight-count indictment that alleges racketeering, marijuana distribution conspiracy, money laundering, and honest services fraud tied to her own medical cannabis business.
Are you laughing? We're laughing. We've been grinning nonstop.
Within hours, the Senate President Pro Tempore posted a statement casting herself as the victim, because of course she did. In it, she accuses the FBI and the Justice Department of turning the full weight of the federal government on an 82-year-old great-grandmother, invokes her childhood under Jim Crow, and vows she won't be intimidated or back down. Missing from the statement is any mention of the actual charges, which prosecutors say involve a years-long scheme to move more than 100 kilograms of illegal marijuana, with several of her family members named as co-defendants.
Take a gander.
https://t.co/hKT5NbUXpa
— L. Louise Lucas (@SenLouiseLucas) October 22, 2026
Cue the boo-hoos and womp womp womps.
@SenLouiseLucas An 82 year old thug who is going to prison and taking her children and grandchildren with her. Good riddance granny.
— CuriousAmerican (@CuriousAmerikan) October 22, 2026
@SenLouiseLucas You're a great-grandmother like Mags Bennett on "Justified" was a home distiller. https://t.co/oW4aHvq93i
— Crankier Hank (@SurelyNotHank) October 22, 2026
HIC
@SenLouiseLucas https://t.co/iew6URwJXH
— Nope! (@86TheMandates) October 22, 2026
@SenLouiseLucas no one is above the law
— Mets Reb-ular season’s over (@SportsRebo) October 22, 2026
@SenLouiseLucas https://t.co/iivbpfJOh2
— Maddie211 (@Maddie21110) October 22, 2026
Tough crowd.
@SenLouiseLucas But, but…. This was your last chance at generational wealth…You’ve got too old to not be greedy. I mean, right. Right? https://t.co/txoM12WuRZ
— 🍑Kim 🇺🇸🍑 (@OG_Peach3) October 22, 2026
Oopsie.
Game over, Louise.
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