Rep. Melanie Stansbury Says Trump Is at the Center of Largest Sex Trafficking...
Andy Beshear: His Faith Led Him to Veto ‘The Nastiest Piece of Anti-LGBTQ...
Bill Melugin FINISHES the Dem/Media's Desperate and Dishonest 'Non-Violent Illegal' Spin
Politico: Dems Now Fear Body Cameras Could Be Mass Surveillance Tool for ICE
Jasmine Crockett Says They’re Playing Games to Distract From Trump’s Mentions in the...
Olympic Skier Says He’s Proud to Use His ‘Platform’ to Send ICE a...
Houston Chronicle Rushes in to Defend Old Clip of Gene Wu Talking About...
DHS Obliterates the Latest Propaganda Effort About 'Non-Violent' Illegals ICE Has Arrested
Democrat PAC Puts Out Anti-ICE Ad Featuring EVIL Generic Republican Congressman
Abigail Spanberger's Disrespect for Virginia Knows NO Limits
MORE Firings, Bezos: WaPo Applauds Bad Bunny's Halftime Show as 'Wholesome' and 'Family-Fr...
So Much WOOF: Wes Moore TORCHED for Playing the Race Card While LYING...
Jessica Tarlov Helps Prove CBS News' ICE Arrests Spin Provided the Desired Narrative...
Jon Levine Exposes Yet ANOTHER Racist, Antisemitic Member of Zohran Mamdani's Circle in...
Spot the Difference: Megyn Kelly Highlights the Opposing Worldviews of JD Vance and...

Day 3 of My Google Encampment: HELP! The Squirrels Are Getting Woker

Grateful Calvin

Dear Diary,

It's Day 3 of my protest for free speech here on the grounds at Google, and Diary, I am starting to get a little worried. The number of squirrels has continued to grow, and it appears some of these new squirrels are protesting. It's true! I can't even make this up. Honestly, I swear some may even be part of the trans-movement. 

Advertisement

I know, Diary, you think I'm losing my mind but one of them has been carrying around a tiny little sign that says, 'TRANS-SQUIRRELS ARE FEMALE SQUIRRELS,' and if I look close, it looks like this particular squirrel is wearing eye shadow and lipstick. Then again, I can't get too close to this squirrel because it hisses at me and flips the bird every time I look at it ... 

There are a couple of other squirrels marching around with the trans-squirrel but they have tiny little masks on their faces so I can't tell if they're wearing makeup or not.

Oh, and did I mention the climate change squirrels? Again, Diary, you're going to think I'm loony tunes but I caught two of them trying to recycle my coffee cup this morning - they were squeaking about my carbon footprint and shaming me for supporting fossil fuels. I swear, Diary, one of them said, 'HOW DARE YOU?!'

Finally, there are the pro-Hamas squirrels although some of them seem confused and think they're BLM squirrels. I have to admit though, their little keffiyehs are sorta cute, Diary. They are also the only group of squirrels to show up and threaten me with a hunger strike. Right? I had no idea squirrels would be willing to go without food to defend Hamas or BLM or whatever they're fighting for but apparently, they will. One more thing about this group of squirrels, Diary, they all have the same tent as I do! Granted, they are much smaller but the same colors and shapes.

Advertisement

Huh.

For the most part, I am keeping my distance from the squirrels, especially the trans-ones ... while none of them is exactly friendly, the gender-confused squirrels are the worst. They keep leaving me notes outside my tent, addressing me as the 'Righty cis-woman' and telling me I can't keep them from using my bathroom.

It's getting weird out here, Diary.

Just a short reminder, Diary, that I can cut my encampment short if more people sign up for our Twitchy VIP Membership program. And just like when I first began my journey, long before the squirrels started showing up in large, hissing, nasty groups, people can still save 50% off using my special code, BRINGFOOHOME. That also goes for the Gold Membership which would give them access to all Townhall Media sites.

In closing, Diary, the dogs are fine. Of course, they're not thrilled but the squirrels are at least smart enough to keep their distance from them.

For now.

Pray for us, Diary.

FREE SPEECH FOR ALL!

Love,
Sam

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement