People have been mispronouncing my married name for over two decades.
It’s honestly become a joke with our kids trying to figure out at the beginning of the school years how many teachers will think the A in our name is a long A versus a short A. We don’t get our britches all bunched up when someone unknowingly thinks we’re from a foreign country and think the J is a YA versus a JA.
Because you know what, we’re not a bunch of gigantic babies looking for something, ANYTHING to outrage us in our daily lives. Even my teenage children know it’s not something that’s worth preening on about, or you know, writing an entire THREAD on.
This Saha Kaur Kohli has WAY too much free time on her hands.
Seriously.
In my recent @washingtonpost column, a reader asks me how to handle when longterm friends & colleagues mispronounce their name. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised by the comments, but folks really don't understand how harmful this can be to a person's psyche.
Here's my advice:
— Sahaj Kaur Kohli (@SahajKohli) September 29, 2022
Yeah, this is pretty damn mental.
Oh good, she’s handing out free advice.
Lucky me.
It might seem like a small thing, but in fact, when others continuously mispronounce someone’s name, or assign a nickname for their own ease, it’s considered a name-based microaggression.
— Sahaj Kaur Kohli (@SahajKohli) September 29, 2022
MICROAGGRESSION.
You’ve got to be shiznitting me.
Unless of course, microaggression means finding something to whine about because I’m bored and have nothing else going on.
Egads, woman.
And like all microaggressions, this can take a toll on your self-esteem, making you feel devalued or unworthy or like you need to compromise parts of yourself.
— Sahaj Kaur Kohli (@SahajKohli) September 29, 2022
If someone mispronouncing your name takes a toll on your self-esteem and makes you feel devalued you need to get out more.
Go touch grass.
Put the Twitter down.
Stop watching Netflix.
Our names are an extension of our identities and root us in our family cultures and histories. For many, they serve as a core representation of where we are from. Names hold meaning, pride, strength and courage, and they deserve to be honored.
— Sahaj Kaur Kohli (@SahajKohli) September 29, 2022
OOOMG BLAH BLAH BLAH.
It may not be purposeful for others to mispronounce your name; it can take time & practice to say words or names that are not used in someone’s native language.
But what do you do when non-confrontational approaches or gentle reminders don't work?
— Sahaj Kaur Kohli (@SahajKohli) September 29, 2022
Ok … you know what? This thread goes on and on and on and basically, the gist is IF you mispronounce someone’s name you are hurting them and stuff.
Let’s just add another ‘thing’ to feel oppressed by to the intersectional politics Bingo card.
David Harsanyi chimed in:
Teachers mispronounced my last name so often when I was young, that I changed the pronunciation. People, friends, still mispronounce it, and my psyche has never once been damaged. https://t.co/KneI2d92fV
— David Harsanyi (@davidharsanyi) September 30, 2022
I probably can’t pronounce it.
I own it.
People are being conditioned to find offense everywhere . It’s like this perverse, unhealthy way to forge an identity. It is so tiresome
— David Harsanyi (@davidharsanyi) September 30, 2022
Now, calling me “Dave” if I don’t know you personally is a macroaggression.
— David Harsanyi (@davidharsanyi) September 30, 2022
HA HA HA HA HA
Yeah, if someone calls me Samantha I’m usually in trouble.
Or it’s some loser troll who thinks calling me by my first name will intimidate me but that’s a whole OTHER story.
See? Things CAN get dumber.
Lucky us.
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