Who knew someone getting stabbed would notice this about the perp? ROFL
We can see it now, ‘Why hello office, yes, yes I was just stabbed. And boy howdy, I have to tell you, the person who stabbed me had the PRETTIEST EYES I have ever seen. Oh yes, I am slowly bleeding out, and ouch it hurts SO MUCH but I’m telling you, THOSE EYES …’
Can’t believe this is real and yet here we are:
STABBING/1600 block OF MARYLAND AVE NE/LOF A B/M LIGHT CPLX, NO SHIRT, TATTOOS ON THE BODY, PRETTY EYES; B/F 5'4, BLACK CLOTHING/5269
— DC Police Department (@DCPoliceDept) September 16, 2021
What gave the perp away?
— Jordan Chamberlain (@jordylancaster) September 16, 2021
APB: SUSPECT SLEEK, GAZELLE-LIKE, w/ a certain SAVOIR FAIRE; EASY ON EYES; considered ARMED and EXTREMELY DELOISHUS
— 🥓,🥚 & 🧀 on 🥯 (@YoBrohan) September 16, 2021
ROFL ROFL ROFL!!!
Sleek, gazelle-like with a certain SAVOIR FAIRE.
Armed and extremely delicious.
Wow, that’s awesome.
Got him. pic.twitter.com/aGQVaSbNbw
— The American Guy 🇺🇸 (@YankReb69) September 16, 2021
Dude stabs somebody and flashes a deep auburn stare.
DCPD:"I can fix him"
— Jake (unaffiliated with State Farm) (@JDSommey) September 16, 2021
I CAN FIX HIM.
Is this for real. How is this for real.
— Brandi Buchman (@Brandi_Buchman) September 16, 2021
Armed and dreamy?
ok, pretty eyes 👀, lol look for the pretty eyed dude 🤣🤣🤣
— LeVar C T (@levarct) September 16, 2021
Guy running down the street with his eyes closed. Ohh well that’s not him. Carry on.
— Jasmine Wilson (@Jasmine94878907) September 16, 2021
Or wearing sunglasses? FOILED AGAIN!
Wtf kinda description is "pretty eyes?"
— Bae-Lee-Un (@The_HeavenlyWay) September 16, 2021
Tag his insta if you find him please
— Jake Villarreal 🏳️🌈 (@JakeLovesSTL) September 16, 2021
What’s next, “SKIPS LEG DAY”? “HAS A KIND FACE”?
— DashboardProfessional (@emointheoffice) September 16, 2021
Smells of lavender and has soft hands.
"Great biceps, nice fit, dripping in swag, oozes charisma…"
— 👻 UMDET3 👻 (@umdet3) September 16, 2021
Ok, we’ve gotta stop.
Too damn funny.