As Twitchy readers know, this morning Kurt Eichenwald went on Good Morning America and stated that some tweets were meant as a joke or that he was signaling a source? It was a bizarre explanation for the last week or so of tweets since his appearance on the Tucker Carlson show.

Not long after his interview, Eichenwald was back on Twitter tweeting about his complaint and his seizure … except we thought he was joking? Or is he not? Even we can’t keep up with all of this, sorry folks.

So here is the supposed paperwork for Twitter and the subpoena for the identity of his Twitter “assailant,” aka the person who sent him an animated gif that allegedly caused him to have a seizure.

No, we promise we’re not making this up, but man it sure reads that way.

He goes on …

The Daily Caller did indeed contact the Dallas PD who at the time had never heard of this complaint. Eichenwald is saying the complaint was filed yesterday.

Oh yeah, and a WARNING because yeah, that always works well with trolls; trying to scare them away will totally shut them up. He must not spend much time on Twitter, or maybe he spends TOO much time on Twitter. We’re just not sure.

Ooooh, skeery. Yeah we get it, it’s not cool to target harass someone on Twitter but c’mon … this ain’t gonna work. Eichenwald will likely be inundated with strobing gifs after tweeting this out. If trolls really cared about people they wouldn’t be trolls in the first place. It’s sorta like telling criminals to obey the law, it ain’t gonna happen.

Maybe he’s not been paying attention to the Left’s behavior over the last eight years? And seriously, can you assault someone via Twitter?

Doubtful it’s the disability that they’re laughing at, more like the odd and bizarre behavior in Eichenwald’s tweets and TV appearances.

Oh PLEASE – quick, someone grab a tiny violin.

Editor’s note: Correction in first paragraph.