Unassigned

Tim Miller Is VERY Concerned About Our Clean, Crime-Free 'Dystopian' Nation's Capital

Grateful Calvin
Grateful Calvin  |  4:00 PM on August 13, 2026


For anyone who lives in or has visited Washington, D.C., in the past six years or so, the difference in our nation's capital between the Biden years and today is palpable the moment you cross the Memorial Bridge over the Potomac River and into the city.

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DC's problems date back much further than the Biden administration, of course, but the COVID lockdowns and mandates put the city's blight into stark relief. And President Trump began reversing that the moment he took office. 

Where there were once boarded-up businesses, graffitied statues, filthy homeless encampments, and drug addicts on nearly every street corner, there are now cleaner and safer parks, proud, patriotic America 250 banners, and those street corners are now populated with National Guardsmen who make everyone feel safe walking down the streets.

Of course, all of this is extremely upsetting to The Bulwark's Tim Miller, who labeled the nation's capital 'dystopian' because it is no longer the den of squalor that so many of his favorite blue cities still are. 

First of all, there are no tanks deployed in Washington, D.C. 

Not one. 

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Is anyone really surprised that Miller does not know the difference between a tank and a normal Humvee? 

We aren't. 

DC is no longer the murder capital of the nation? It's just our clean nation's capital once again? 

How horrible and traumatizing for Miller. 

Miller gave himself away in his first words when he said he hadn't visited DC 'in a minute.' Translated, that means he hasn't been there in YEARS. 

No wonder he thinks a clean, safe, and proud American city looks 'dystopian.' He's used to the leftist paradises of Oakland and New Orleans.

HAAAAAA! 

We're sure that's exactly how Miller imagined himself, seeing those scary National Guardsmen and their fictional tanks. 

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Remember that crime is not the enemy of Communists. It is their ally. 

Miller's other point, that these Guardsmen were away from their families, was so dumb that, naturally, another broken leftist echoed it.

If you walk one block away from The Wharf in Southwest D.C., you are absolutely in a (formerly) high-crime area.

Maybe Comstock doesn't remember the violent 'teen takeovers' (aka, riots) at the Navy Yard. 

It's not rocket surgery. 

As for the National Guard and their families, this is what's known as 'doing their job' and they do get to spend time with their families when they are not on duty. 

It's so funny watching leftists who protested against DOGE and continue to ignore rampant fraud in blue states clutch their pearls about how much the DC National Guard deployment costs. 

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It's also funny that they think everyone else has the same selective memory that they do. 

Oops. 

This writer visits DC often, and can assure readers that there are ZERO barbed wire fences deployed in the city these days. 

Ironically, it was an infamous carjacking that may have been the final straw to prod Trump to deploy the National Guard throughout the city. 

Even though the leftist justice system in DC refused to punish his attackers, thankfully Ed 'Big Balls' Coristine is doing well after he tried to protect a young woman from violent thugs. 

Naturally, the 'journalist' Miller did not take the time to ask any DC residents whether they thought the National Guard keeping them safe was 'dystopian.'

He could have just rang up Frank Luntz. It wouldn't have been difficult. 

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Ultimately, X users realized that there is only one prescription to help Miller deal with the trauma of seeing our nation's capital clean, safe, and, yes, great again:

Meep. 

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