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The Hollywood Reporter Nails the REAL Problem With Chris Nolan's Upcoming 'The Odyssey'


Homer's Odyssey is not just a classic epic poem from ancient Greece; it is a canonical, literary pillar of Western civilization, even to this day. Its themes are timeless, and many of its characters -- such as the Sirens and Scylla and Charybdis -- have survived for thousands of years, representing the dangers of temptation and the dilemma of being caught between a rock and a hard place. 

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Naturally, ever since director Christopher Nolan announced his plans for a movie adaptation of the saga, the film has been the subject of heated debate. Will he stray from those themes? Will he embrace wokeness and abandon fidelity to the epic's messages? 

With the release of the trailer for the movie, which premieres in July, sadly, the answers seem to be yes. 

It has been known for a while that Nolan race-swapped Helen of Troy. But the trailer has also introduced Ellen Page as Achilles. Yes, Ellen, not Eliot. 

Yikes! Talk about your all-time downgrades. When we think of legendary warrior heroes, we always think of ... Ellen Page? 

But Helen and Achilles aren't really central to the story of Odysseus' travails at sea trying to get home to his wife, Cat-Woma ... err, we mean Penelope, and his son, Spider-Ma ... err, we mean Telemachus, characters played by Anne Hathaway and Tom Holland (respectively, thank God, unlike Achilles).

Other parts of the trailer seem to indicate other departures, such as one of the suitors ordering an assault on Odysseus while he is still trying to get home.

Fans of Homer, not to mention classic literature and cinema, should probably prepare for disappointment. 

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But none of these ... ahem ... 'creative decisions' are a problem for The Hollywood Reporter. Nope, for the entertainment rag, the fatal flaw in the upcoming film is that all of the characters sound like JD Vance instead of Keir Starmer. 

Oh, for the love of Irene Papas! 

Were they all supposed to speak in ancient Greek and in dactylic hexameter? That probably wouldn't have played well with audiences. 

What makes this even funnier is that THR isn't arguing for Greek, ancient or modern

They want everyone to speak with a British accent. 

But the modern British accent is traditionally considered universally pleasing and “just foreign enough” to convey a timeless quality (even though it’s only existed in its current form for 250 years or so).

Umm ... what? 

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Yes, who can forget the indelible scene from the Lotus-Eaters chapter of the tale, when Odysseus castigates his crew for apathy and sloth by shouting at them, 'Allo! Wot's all this then?'

It's not complicated. The left simply hates America. 

What a great way to make Odysseus, Telemachus, and all the rest gain sympathy with the viewers. Have them all sound like Grand Moff Tarkin and the other Imperials from Star Wars. 

Most of the actors are American, including lead Matt Damon. And, as we all remember from Kevin Costner (and Al Pacino), American actors shouldn't try to adopt British accents.

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Holland is British, of course, but he would sound pretty odd speaking with an English accent when no one else is, not even his character's mother and father.

HA!

Thank God that Sean Connery didn't try to speak Russian throughout that movie. Director John McTiernan dispensed with that right off the bat.  

LOL. 

Hey, why didn't Rob Schneider get a role in this movie? Everyone else seems to have gotten one.

Even Zendaya, for some incomprehensible reason.

Don't try to wrap your head around that logic. You'll twist yourself into a pretzel. 

Ultimately, the debate about accents should have been put to bed long ago by another acclaimed director, Ridley Scott. 

There are many, many reasons to be nervous about Nolan's take on Homer's epic. Don't take our word for it. Watch the trailer for yourself.

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The quality of dialogue alone is ... whew! Unsettling to say the least. 

But that would be the case no matter what language or accent was used. 

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