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Bless his heart: Stompy foot Piers Morgan threatens to deport himself; citizens ask 'is that a promise?'

Heh. That’s right, Americans. You must change your laws, and The Constitution, or else Piers “Musket” Morgan is taking his idjit ball and going home!

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Definitive! If, of course, he means definitive whining, idiocy and attention-seeking.

Words, like thinking, are hard.

Some of his best friends are guns! No, really. This is what he is basing his oh-so-vast knowledge of firearms on:

Well, I do know a bit about guns, actually. My brother’s a lieutenant colonel in the British Army and has served tours of duty in Northern Ireland, the Balkans, Iraq and Afghanistan. My sister married a colonel who trained Princes William and Harry at Sandhurst. My uncle was a major in the Green Howards.

Stop, our sides can’t take it! The hilarity of the article itself is matched only by the hilarious response:

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https://twitter.com/BarbofPA/status/285371581922942976

That’s right: In the alleged article, he threatens to deport himself if America doesn’t change its gun laws.

Oh, honey. It’s not a threat if people want you to leave, bless your heart.

https://twitter.com/BarbofPA/status/285374098983501825

https://twitter.com/steveatmguy/status/285369609970913281

https://twitter.com/fitzy1202/status/285381337811152898

Just precious.

https://twitter.com/karakay2004/status/285380855021584384

https://twitter.com/Lion_of_Gray/status/285373912777379840

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Americans, being givers, offer to help speed up his stompy foot sandbox fleeing.

https://twitter.com/SeanWats/status/285381486167859200

https://twitter.com/ugliestaltarboy/status/285369245716606979

https://twitter.com/DefendWallSt/status/285359277558857728

Sorry, United Kingdom! As Twitchy reported, they don’t want Musket Boy back, and, unlike Americans, they are hoping his threat isn’t a promise.

https://twitter.com/typatterson67/status/285370984448552960

https://twitter.com/ste1james/status/285371782066749442

https://twitter.com/ConorShea/status/285372194765303808

https://twitter.com/PhilConors/status/285371907937824768

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https://twitter.com/MiniManson/status/285377378530758656

That sound you hear is a collective shudder from Canada. But, wait … have no fear, Canada. There is another option.

https://twitter.com/redsteeze/status/285222329401896961

Heh. What will Musket Boy’s next move be? Stay tuned!

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