Alabama is really stepping up their game for 2024, and we are not talking about football. First, we brought you the gloriously hilarious story of a man who decided to go skinny dipping in the Bass Pro Shop fish tank (and managed to knock himself unconscious after taunting police).
Now, we Alabamians introduce to you Connor Padgett, who told Bass Pro Guy to hold his Maker's on the rocks and watch THIS.
“I am doing everything I f----- can. Goddamit!” Connor Padgett screams in a now viral video. “I already took my belt off, and that didn’t do s---.”
— AL.com (@aldotcom) January 8, 2024
Man stuck in urn at Mountain Brook party loses pants, breaks expensive vase and Alabama Internet:https://t.co/NntLtIAoTG
It truly is the story that keeps on giving. Definitely give the video a watch!
Another Twitter/X account by the name of 'Casual Thursday' graced us with a thread documenting the entire incident, and it is as spectacular as you could ever want.
We have a man stuck in a decorative urn at this Mountain Brook house party. I repeat, we have a drunk man stuck in a large decorative urn at this Mountain Brook house party. Details as they develop.
— Casual Thursday (@CasualThursday) January 1, 2024
Mountain Brook is one of the richest areas of Birmingham, which makes this so much funnier. What is better than an angry little rich boy, drunk, and stuck in a jar?
Here is the play-by-play of the whole thing:
He was laughing at first but now he’s starting to get upset. The women are trying to comfort him. There is talk of attempting to break the urn.
— Casual Thursday (@CasualThursday) January 1, 2024
The host has dispatched a friend to retrieve his sledge hammer.
— Casual Thursday (@CasualThursday) January 1, 2024
There’s a cracking sound and the crowd cheers. He is free! The urn has been shattered and our hero emerges unscathed. Our long national nightmare is over.
— Casual Thursday (@CasualThursday) January 1, 2024
Urn guy is up and moving around, but now without his pants, which were apparently lost or damaged in the incident. (Everyone seems fine with this) He wants a cigarette.
— Casual Thursday (@CasualThursday) January 1, 2024
HE. LOST. HIS. PANTS.
Looks like a friend is trying to usher him into an Uber. Happy New Year everyone. Stay safe out there. Remember, decorative urns always look bigger from the outside.
— Casual Thursday (@CasualThursday) January 1, 2024
But WAIT, there's more!
AN ANONYMOUS SOURCE SENT ME MORE VIDEO OF CONNOR STUCK IN THE URN AND GETTING CHISELED OUT
— Kristi Yamaguccimane (@TheWapplehouse) January 8, 2024
I REPEAT: MORE OF CONNOR STUCK IN THE URN https://t.co/ZFZHOveebm pic.twitter.com/qfYaZRpMEJ
Apparently there is also a photo, but alas, he is wearing pants.
Connor in 2023 stuck in a decorative urn: Surviving
— Ole Miss — National Champions (@PharmacistReb) January 8, 2024
Connor in 2024 with a double makers on the rocks, urn-less: THRIVING pic.twitter.com/HCWGF2u0FG
Y'all, it really doesn't get much better than this. This is quality entertainment to kickstart 2024, and all brought to you by the Yellowhammer State. From this Alabama native to you, you are welcome!
We’re only one week into 2024 and Birmingham, AL continues to be the star https://t.co/VWFQ1x5zHM pic.twitter.com/V9IZdQcTgQ
— Cucker Tarlson (@sloppy_steaks) January 7, 2024
There is a linear order of class hierarchy on the East Coast of the United States, and at the very top of that order is people like this.
— Y Disassembler (@loomdoop) January 8, 2024
This is who gets in to Harvard. This is who gets past the velvet rope at DC nightclubs. https://t.co/G2XotZVd5k
The respect is well-urned.
I was going to QT this and say “What in the Mountain Brook is this?” until I saw that it was actually in Mountain Brook. https://t.co/abEWPUSf5n
— WEEEEEW BROOKS (@drewbrooks87) January 7, 2024
If you know, you know LOL it's just a surprise that the urn wasn't monogrammed.
Alabama friends I'm really gonna need yall to chill TF out https://t.co/ndKD64kQPO
— Christina MS, CSCS (@Christina_M57) January 9, 2024
We most certainly will NOT. We're having a blast down here, can't you tell?
That's why you always use lube. Or else you may never be able to pull out.
— Electronzap (@electronzap) January 8, 2024
Oh my.
I thought the joke was “what’s a Grecian urn? About 20 Drachma”
— Quintus Septimius Florens Tertullianus (@mwilliams433) January 8, 2024
I guess we need to update our punchlines.
Hey Rocky, Watch me pull a rabbit out of this vase…musta got the wrong vase https://t.co/7dwiyO6llk
"We're hardly a week into the New Year and Birmingham, Alabama is off to the best start of all time."
— T Casey (@up_kinch) January 8, 2024
very proud of my city https://t.co/CTacs3WyOp
We do what we can. At least our shenanigans help this writer urn a living!
The true star of the night. He chiseled my fat ass out of this pic.twitter.com/N9ef9ZnLLZ
— Connor Padgett (@conniep_) January 9, 2024
Here's to a whole new year of one-upping Florida Man! Roll Tide!
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