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If Students Can’t Handle Seeing Their Grades, They’re Not Ready for College

AP Photo/Paul Sancya, File

Sigh. That's my reaction to too many stories these days. This is just the latest one that is making me shake my head. 

If freshman students aren’t capable of seeing the grades they earned, they are not prepared enough for a university, and that’s okay. With my own daughter, we made the decision to do community college (state college) first. She lives at home. She eats at home. She sleeps at home. She goes to classes and does her homework at home or in the library. She has many friends at UCF, UF, and FSU, so she often drives to some part of Florida and enjoys time with her friends. She gets the university experience in small doses.

I knew living away from home at 18 and navigating difficult classes was not the best fit for her. More parents need to be willing to have these hard conversations with their students. Also, it’s way more affordable. I have paid for her courses out of pocket the last four semesters. She was easily able to get the classes she needed, there were convenient times, and she took it slow the first two semesters as she was getting accustomed to the expectations of professors. I’ve constantly reiterated to her that she is not in a race. If she finishes school at 22 or 23 rather than 21, all is well.

Graduating Seniors are anxious to go off to college and have the 'experience'. Parents need to say 'NO' to young people who are not suited for that transition, yet. Students who need their grades hidden from them fall into the group of young people who should have stayed home and had a couple of transition years. 

Let me be clear, I don't think my daughter is immature or less capable than her friends. Quite the opposite. She took my counsel and advice and agreed. That's someone who knows herself well. Many of her friends flunked out after first semester or were back home after their first year and would have benefited from some tough love before they wasted a whole bunch of money. 

Also, my daughter is a conservative and doesn't make dumb decisions about politicians. That's another plus in her column. 

Many students would be better served by attending trade school instead of college. Unless a student is pursuing a clear career path that genuinely requires a degree, the returns on a traditional college education are often negligible these days.

Going straight to a four-year college right out of high school should not be the path parents push.

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