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Don't Put Your Parents in a Home—Build One Together ... A Radical (But Natural) Solution for America

AP Photo/Jae C. Hong

It's a new year and that's a new opportunity for me to explain my theory on what currently ails America. I truly believe we could solve many societal problems by returning to multi-generational living. 

When many people hear this suggestion, they groan. They can't imagine living near their in-laws. They don't want to deal with their Boomer parents and their Boomer parents don't want the noise and inconvenience of children who aren't always quiet. As a result, we have young couples both working very hard to make ends meet and unable to afford homes, young children left in daycare centers for hours upon hours most days of the week, and elderly people who spend a decade or two in over 55 communities playing Bingo and square dancing, but the next 10 alone in a assisted living community where they rarely see any family. None of that is natural. 

When families live in 'communes' (for lack of a better term), they work together to care for children, young couples have financial and daily living support, kids have multiple adults to care for them and the elderly have the option of independent living, but support when needed. 

In my family, we each have our own homes on one large piece of property and my Mom's house is the 'gathering' place. We have lived this way since my children were young. I never had to worry about staying late for work or meeting friends for dinner because there was care for my children at home. If someone is too tired to cook dinner, another adult picks up the slack. When my Mom got very sick, my son and I took care of her while she recuperated. We didn't need help from the government. We don't have to pay for the children to be watched. If we need something from the grocery store, someone will go. We share the financial burden and the labor of life. 

It's not always easy. We get on each other's nerves, at times. Thankfully, we can go to our own homes and settle down when that happens. It required a whole bunch of compromise and understanding and swallowing your pride. That's not always easy, but those are also good skills to learn in life. American hyper-independence is just not healthy. It leaves kids with no anchor, young people with no accountability, couples depending on outsiders for domestic help and the elderly being sent away to die.

Both of my adult children are in healthcare. They both say the same thing. They say most places (particularly those paid for only by Medicaid or Social Security checks) are sad and unsafe. 

Obviously, not everyone agrees with me. I would suggest buying property away from other homes and building to match the neighborhood so your homes don't stick out like sore thumb. Do your best to live in peace with others. 

Our plan is for our land and homes to be passed down to our children so no reverse mortgages here. These last 2 tweets are a great example of how Americans view multi-generational living. 

As Americans, we can choose differently. We can live differently. We can embrace a more peaceful and family centered life. It's the first step to improving our communities and eventually our country. 

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