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ICE Agent's Internal Bleeding Proves Refrigerator Doors Are NOT, in Fact, Deadlier Than SUVs

AP Photo/Rick Bowmer, File

Now, we here at 'Twitchy' are not medical doctors (we're just hilarious and definitely should have Doctorates in snark), but when we hear a person has internal bleeding after being hit by a whole SUV, it sounds pretty serious.

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Wait?! That can't be right. Mayor Jacob Frey told America his injuries were akin to 'closing a refrigerator door with your hip'. People generally don't experience internal bleeding when they go to get a little sweet treat, Jacob!

Sounds like he owes the ICE officer an apology.

Did the ICE officer spontaneously combust?

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Which is strange since the Left is always whining about SUV and big trucks as dangerous to pedestrians. Now, suddenly they are like little cotton candy balls. 

Of course, the Left went right to work insisting he really isn't bleeding and everyone is lying to news reporters. 

Then, the even more demented theory he purposely stepped in front of the SUV so she had to hit him and then he could shoot her. Whatever, dude!

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Lock down all refrigerator doors until we have a better idea what they are capable of.

It's impossible to reason with crazy people.

Those are the only facts that matter.

Editor’s Note: Every single day, here at Twitchy, we will stand up and FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT against the radical left and deliver the conservative reporting our readers deserve.

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