When Men Run for Seats Instead of Wars: A Lament for Lost Chivalry

I read this article about modern chivalry (or the lack of it) with interest. It's a disappointing reflection on our modern society.

‘Chivalry is dead’: Woman takes funny and desperate measure to try and get seat on train https://t.co/l7kjE4Lywk pic.twitter.com/9JmYaRPfar
— New York Post (@nypost) December 20, 2025

Attention, women – chivalry could be dead.
And it took one TikToker with sore legs on a train to prove it.
Katy Olivia shared a TikTok of herself standing in the middle of a packed Tube carriage in London, shopping bags in hand, surrounded by men who were firmly seated.
On camera, she groans: “Owww, my legs hurt so much … I wish I could sit down … owwww,” while the men around her smirk, glance up, then return to their phones.

The caption over the clip reads: “Men used to go to war for women; now they run for a seat on the train”.

I would be absolutely humiliated if this was my son. I have done my best to teach him men respect women, and one of the ways to do that, is to open doors and give up your seat. Even if the female recipient doesn't appreciate it, it makes him a better man to offer.

“Look at all the princesses resting their weary legs,” a third laughed.
One man insisted, “giving up one’s seat is a gentlemanly gesture and just good manners, and manners maketh the man”.
“A gentleman is rare these days,” yet another commenter wrote, adding that the men who stand up “understand children and women come first”.

None of these men are 'required' to give up their seats, of course. There is no law. It just makes for a better society when the stronger sex yields to the weaker one as a choice. That's healthy vulnerability. It keeps people attached to their humanity.

A 2023 transport study on ‘seat-yielding’ behavior found that commuters are far more likely to give up their seat when someone’s vulnerability is obvious – such as an older passenger, a pregnant woman or a person with a disability – and much less likely to do so when the rider appears young and healthy.
However, most see it as a gender-neutral courtesy based on need rather than on whether the other person is a man or a woman.

This is just it. It shouldn't be about need. When men give up their seat because someone is obviously handicapped or elderly, it's giving up comfort for someone in need. To give up your seat to someone who doesn't obviously need your assistance is pure sacrifice. It's yielding as a sign of respect.

Chivalry dates back to the 12th century and was primarily used by medieval Christian knights to guide their behavior, which was governed by values such as honor, kindness and courage.
Over time, the meaning of chivalry has evolved to emphasize broader social and moral virtues, such as holding doors open and giving up seats for women.
“Good etiquette is about awareness, respect and reading the room. If someone looks uncomfortable, unsteady, heavily pregnant, elderly, injured, or clearly struggling, offering your seat is a courteous gesture – regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman.”
Where things go awry, she says, is when old-fashioned chivalry strips away agency.
“Most women don’t want to be ‘rescued’ or singled out simply because of their gender,” Heussler explains. “What they appreciate is being treated with consideration and dignity, the same way anyone would want to be treated in a shared public space.”
Modern etiquette, she says, isn’t about “grand gestures” but rather “situational awareness”.

Chivalry is about daily taking those little steps to make society a more dignified space.