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Pre-K Math Genius Labeled Social Failure: Report Card Ignites Parenting War

AP Photo/Elaine Thompson, File

As a mother of pretty well adjusted adults and a former elementary, middle and high school teacher, I always read posts like this from parents with keen interest. 

A child's math talent is a gift worth celebrating. I reject the obsession with fixing weaknesses; we should primarily nurture strengths and elevate them further. So I side with Mom here: shower the boy with praise for his stellar math performance and provide every opportunity to sharpen those skills—it's crucial. That said, Dad isn't wrong either. We can't ignore social-emotional growth. Humans thrive in community, and kids must learn to connect with peers.

Obviously, defiance and hyperactivity are clear behavioral issues that must be addressed. However, more subjective traits like 'weirdness' deserve far less weight. For instance, my ninth-grade science teacher once told my mom I was 'overly boy-crazy'—a claim that was flat-out wrong. She based it solely on seeing me chat with lots of friends in class. In reality, I dated the same boy for most of high school and had zero romantic interest in anyone else. She was simply projecting her own demure style onto me and drawing flawed conclusions. Sort of the opposite of the Scientific Method she was teaching us in class. Heh.

Let's encourage our kids to find their strengths and passions, but also be kind to others. It's great to have morals and standards, and not compromising on those, but it's also nice to be someone others want to be around. 

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