This week’s headlines: Detroit is dead and al-Qaida is alive.
Al Qaeda is alive & Detroit is dead. RT @mpoppel: BREAKING — BNO NEWS: U.S. GOVT ISSUES WORLDWIDE TRAVEL ALERT DUE TO TERROR ATTACK FEARS
— jon gabriel (@exjon) August 2, 2013
Embassies in the Middle East will be closed on Sunday due to a terror threat, but once Monday rolls around …
They suddenly don't want to attack us any more. RT @RichardGrenell What happens when alqaeda changes the date from Sunday to Monday?
— jon gabriel (@exjon) August 2, 2013
Any al-Qaida chatter to support that? Conservative Twitter user @ExJon tweeted his exclusive report.
"We attack the infidel embassy on Sunday!" "Uh-oh, they're closing the embassy that day." "Drat! Those devils have outsmarted us again!"
— jon gabriel (@exjon) August 2, 2013
@ExJon Sounds like a scene from Monty Python and the Holy Jihad.
— Maxwell (@maxplaining) August 2, 2013
"But Abdul, maybe we just do the attack on Monday when the embassy is open again?" "No, no, that's all wrong. Have that dental appointment."
— jon gabriel (@exjon) August 2, 2013
"I could have fit in the bombing on Thursday, but my boss is crawling up my ass for those Q2 numbers. He is such a micromanager."
— jon gabriel (@exjon) August 2, 2013
Recommended
"Alright, everyone open Google Calendar & we'll reschedule the attack. Remember the 1st & 3rd Tuesdays of each month are bad for Mohammed."
— jon gabriel (@exjon) August 2, 2013
"Google Calendar is monitored by the NSA? No wonder they found out about the Sunday attack. Everyone download Cozi!"
— jon gabriel (@exjon) August 2, 2013
https://twitter.com/chuck_dizzle/status/363406577081921540
"Your suicide attack is very important to us. Please remain on the line…" @chuck_dizzle @ExJon
— Jim Jamitis ???? (@JimJamitis) August 2, 2013
https://twitter.com/HokieMBA00/status/363405201778024449
Twitchy verdict: If you’re not following @ExJon, you’re doing Twitter wrong.
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