Jonah Goldberg invited to beat the socialism out of skinny vegan Brooklynite comedian

Yesterday progressive comedian Jamie Kilstein decided that National Review’s Jonah Goldberg condones violence against his people (young-ish hipster douchebags with no idea how the world works).

I invite him to try. RT @Matthew4300: Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO): we should beat the socialism out of the youth http://t.co/jdhD2R3r

— Jamie Kilstein (@jamiekilstein) June 1, 2012

It always the scared rich boy pundits who try to talk tough while sending others to war hiding behind a computer.

— Jamie Kilstein (@jamiekilstein) June 1, 2012

Hello @JonahNRO as someone who believes in socialist health care I was wondering exactly how you would beat that out of me.

— Jamie Kilstein (@jamiekilstein) June 1, 2012

.@JonahNRO is about 4 weight classes bigger than me and judging by his rhetoric thinks he has a fighting chance. Let's make it an event!

— Jamie Kilstein (@jamiekilstein) June 1, 2012

I will donate my winnings to healthcare for the poor and you can donate back to yourself or something silly @JonahNRO

— Jamie Kilstein (@jamiekilstein) June 1, 2012

The melodrama is thick with this one. Some of Kilstein’s fellow hipster Brooklynites might want to freecycle a fainting couch and some fair trade smelling salts just in case he attempts a stage swoon.

Here’s what Goldberg told The Daily Caller:

The fact that young people think socialism is better than capitalism. That’s proof of what social scientists call their stupidity and their ignorance. And that’s something that conservatives have to work harder to beat out of them. Either literally or figuratively as far as I’m concerned.

Virtually all of these dufuses and dipwads bleating at me on twitter and in my email box know I wasn’t serious. This manufactured outrage is just a sad way to avoid my argument and distract from the bad news of the day and maybe to gin-up political enthusiasm from the sorts of “youth activists” who are easily ginned up.

Dufuses and dipwads? Okay, now we’re swooning. And maybe fanning ourselves a little.

Meanwhile, drama boy is in such a tizzy that he did what all victimized socialist youth do: he made a petition. And he’s tweeting about it.

Here is the petition to convince Jonah Goldberg to beat the socialist out of me for charity! 5k sigs needed! Let's go! https://t.co/Ij5uktOb

— Jamie Kilstein (@jamiekilstein) June 2, 2012

Here’s his proposal:

Bullying and advocating violence against people who disagree with you is not brave. Stepping into the ring for a fair fight would be.

This is in no way intended as a threat, instead this is a challenge to participate in a regulated boxing match with rules agreeable to both parties, a referee, trainers and any safety gear.

So a challenge is now on the table. Tell tough guy Jonah to step into the ring with Jamie Kilstein – a 145-pound progressive vegan standup comic who doesn’t take kindly to bullies. We’ll put it on the Internet and start a kickstarter to raise thousands of dollars in prize money that the winner can allocate to their favorite charity.

Hmm. Since this petition says bullying isn’t brave, it’s odd that Dan Savage, heckler of high school students, is pimping it.

I usually don't pass along those http://t.co/IOFkrhtt petitions… but this is one I think everyone should sign: https://t.co/hZ1tof15

— Dan Savage (@fakedansavage) June 2, 2012

Perpetually outraged femme-a-gogue Amanda Marcotte is on board too.

https://twitter.com/AmandaMarcotte/status/208965375516344322

Gosh, with those two joining the “Dufus and Dipwad Show,” there’s no way Goldberg could say “no.” Literally or figuratively as far as we’re concerned.