'Slomo manitude diablo!' Jose Canseco curses 'weak mortals' who say he strikes out with the ladies

Watch out, haters! Jose Canseco is a practitioner of the dark arts. Or maybe he just has a rabbit and a top hat. We’re not sure.

https://twitter.com/#!/JoseCanseco/status/204918129506258944

Wait, back up a minute, Jose. Chelsea? Who?

https://twitter.com/#!/BrianPHickey/status/204650874545504258

Canseco has taken a run at “about a half dozen” female employees aged 19-23 at a restaurant he’s been frequenting in Worcester, Mass. At one point, Canseco even slipped the phone number you see above to a 19-year-old hostess. So has he been striking out? Says the tipster: “Not even a foul tip…just straight swinging through.”

Aha. So there’s a rumor Jose’s got no game with waitresses, including a server named Chelsea. Canseco, of course, disputes this attack on his steroid-shrunken manhood.

https://twitter.com/#!/JoseCanseco/status/204919333707722754

https://twitter.com/#!/JoseCanseco/status/204919659739348993

https://twitter.com/#!/JoseCanseco/status/204920125831397376

https://twitter.com/#!/JoseCanseco/status/204921064600502272

Full tweet via Twitlonger:

Look at all of you hanging on every word I say following everything I do.you have boring lifes and want to live through me .I will take you on a journey to hell and back buckle up

https://twitter.com/#!/JoseCanseco/status/204921772322201600

https://twitter.com/#!/JoseCanseco/status/204922909679038464

We are shocked—shocked!—that ladies aren’t lining up for a piece of Canseco. As we all know, he’s quite the catch.