Obama campaign co-chair Eva Longoria is so very sorry. But she’s not sorry that she retweeted a vulgar tweet calling women and minorities “stupid” to vote for Romney. Heaven forfend!

She’s sorry if people were offended by her incredibly generous use of Twitter as a “platform for all Americans.”

I use Twitter as a platform for all Americans and their opinions. Sorry if people were offended by retweet. Obviously not my words or my personal view. I respect all Americans #FreedomOfSpeech

https://twitter.com/KeyWestBravo/statuses/258984027829194752

Obviously.

First, Longoria deleted the vile retweet to cover her tracks. But Twitchy is forever.

When that didn’t fly, she hilariously tried to pull an Anthony Weiner, claiming a hacker or Twitter bug caused random retweets about conservative women and minorities to magically appear on her account. She really must think we’re “stupid.”

Apparently chapter three in “Damage Control for Dummies” involves issuing a faux apology. We suspect she got her copy as a hand-me-down from Weiner.

And she followed up the absurd non-apology apology with an even more ridiculous tweet. That retweet calling women and minorities “stupid to vote for such a racist/misogynistic twat”? She didn’t necessarily agree; she was just creating dialogue, man.

Keep digging, doll. Keep digging.

Apologies are hard. So very hard.

Longoria has tried every possible way out of this … well, except for issuing a sincere apology for what she retweeted. A real apology? We won’t hold our breath.

And when even Alan Colmes is calling for you to resign as co-chair of the campaign, it’s a sign.

Update:

A Twitchy reader makes an excellent point:

Update:

And here we have the fourth chapter of “Damage Control for Dummies”: changing the subject.

Full text via WhoSay:

Let’s close this conversation with a focus on the real issues, not tweets. For women, it’s about equal pay, the economy and our health care choices.