Twitter user @baconflavoring was able to con a free meal at Outback Steakhouse after pretending to be stood up by his date on Valentine’s Day.
What follows is quite an amusing, but kind of evil thread. Enjoy!
It all started with this tweet and a question to his followers:
if I went to Outback Steakhouse by myself tonight and asked for a table for 2, then got progressively sadder as the night went on alone, do you think they’d give me my steak for free?
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 14, 2019
Why not give it a shot?
okay friendly update – I’m actually going to try this
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
At this point, we still don’t know if he’s serious or not:
I just got here. there is a 45 minute wait for a table for 2.
GOOD THING I CALLED AHEAD!
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
there’s still a 10ish minute wait though.
“oh that’s okay, this works perfectly – she said she was running a bit late anyway”
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
Oh, he’s really there:
got my table pic.twitter.com/8KdypncH31
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
And he’s really committed to the con, as you’ll find out:
in case you were wondering whether I’m taking this seriously…
y’all. i wore a suit jacket. pic.twitter.com/Xlae1xXQxi
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
He even ordered wine for his “date”:
“well I remember she said she loves chardonnay so why don’t we start with a glass of that” pic.twitter.com/JthgEouLqS
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
He’s really selling it:
i just pretended to leave a voicemail saying “I’m here, let me know when you’re on your way” as my waiter walked by
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
Recommended
Some carbo-loading to see it through:
finished the first loaf of bread pic.twitter.com/2BnCMMm2I4
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
He even made a fake gift:
when I parked, I took the jumper cables in my trunk out of the bag they came in and stuff some shoebox paper I had in the backseat into it to make it look like a bought a present
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
Classy:
“Happy Valentine’s Day, my love” pic.twitter.com/juSnmtXNmn
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
a
i mean there can’t be a sadder image than a guy in a suit
at Outback Steakhouse
alone
on Valentine’s Day
sitting across from an untouched decanter of white wine.
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
It’s almost 30 minutes later and he still hasn’t touched the wine:
the second log of bread came. didn’t cut it. took it to the face and finished it in less than 60 seconds. pic.twitter.com/SChl6Rfw4w
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
it’s 9:45. the kitchen closes in 15 minutes. i’m going to wait until my waiter comes by and i’m gonna finish the wine in one swig from the decanter – no glass necessary
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
a
“hello darkness my old friend” pic.twitter.com/2i6rQS260j
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
Wine status? GONE:
aaaaaaaand it’s gone pic.twitter.com/6NUoT9k9SS
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
You’d think he’d get bored with this by now, but nope:
i ordered my steak. this dude is walking on EGGSHELLS around me. i’ve never seen someone scoop glassware as smoothly as he took the untouched glass and empty decanter from the table
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
Is it happening?
the waiter just talked to the bartender. i’m sitting in a booth at the bar and every single person within eye range has glanced at me at some point during the evening.
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
More voicemail subterfuge:
audio of a fake voicemail I just left in earshot of anyone still at the bar pic.twitter.com/LfIttzT3u6
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
As we wait to find out what happens next, we learn more about the fake woman:
the menu is gone but my forlorn lover lives on in the form of water, silverware, and a lone plate.
i have named her Katherine. pic.twitter.com/rnTYJrGnPH
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
Katherine is a consultant at Deloitte. She lives in Arlington, that’s why I chose this spot.
We met at the grocery store. We both went for the same bag of shredded cheese.
She seemed so excited for our Valentine’s Day date.
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
The meal has arrived:
steak’s here. blue cheese crumbles melted on top. restaurant’s closed. how long can I stare into the distance before taking a bite? pic.twitter.com/w7bhvIAyne
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
It’s now or never:
i have started crying.
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
. . . WTF:
i dropped a piece of mac n cheese on the floor next to me. picked it up with my hand and ate it
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
. . . still hoping for that free meal:
10 minutes have gone by. haven’t touched the steak. the restaurant closed 25 minutes ago pic.twitter.com/rA2Ni6kaQt
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
. . . still waiting:
i still haven’t gotten a check. i KNOW this waiter is getting ready to clock out for the night.
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
AND SUCCESS! But he conned a couple at the bar who felt sorry for him:
UPDATE: a couple at the bar paid for my meal for me.
this mission?
SUCCESSFUL.
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
Somehow a charitable donation makes it OK?
as a thank you to that couple who bought my dinner, I’ve donated $50 to ACLU.
spread love y’all.
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
FWIW, proof of the donation:
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
And he tipped the waiter $20 for all this nonsense:
i took all my food to go. all. of. it. ate three bites of mac n cheese and never once touched the steak. my mans gave me a to go Dr Pepper so I’m leaving him a $20 tip pic.twitter.com/9tjOy7K0FG
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
That took some dedication, we’ll give him that:
Katherine may have just missed out on her future husband.
thanks for following along y’all – glad I could entertain.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
But wait, there’s more!
one last thing – the waiter came to clean my table as I left. he put his hand on my shoulder, looked me dead in the eye like a father about to tell his son that grandma died, and said
“take care of yourself. don’t let them get you down.”
put this man in the waiter hall of fame
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
And, of course, Outback became aware of the thread . . .
@Outback pls don’t get mad at me for this I love your steak so much
— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019
. . . and now he’s scored a real free meal out of it:
How about you bring in a real date and the meal’s on us? The love connection is up to you though. ♥️ Send us a DM so we can make it happen.
— Outback Steakhouse (@Outback) February 15, 2019
Great. Why the eff is Outback encouraging this?
So this dude conned your employees and wasted everyone’s time, got STRANGERS he doesn’t know to pay for his meal and y’all give him more?
Gonna wear an all-black suit today and go into your restaurant crying pretending “my wife” died
Can y’all comp a few meals for me too??
— Tyler Conway (@jtylerconway) February 15, 2019
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