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Married Slate writer lists benefits of living with his wife and his wife's girlfriend (HINT: An extra woman to help cook and clean goes a long way!)

Yes, this headline is accurate. The piece is about a guy — who works for Slate — and his wife and the wife’s girlfriend:

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First, let’s clear one thing up. The girlfriend is only the wife’s girlfriend and not his girlfriend, too:

I once had these worries too, but for nine months I’ve been living with my wife and my wife’s girlfriend (a poly threesome V, rather than a triad, because all three of us are not romantically involved).

OK, with that out of the way, let’s get to the benefits of a “poly threesome V,” shall we?

Well, first up, there’s the food. Mandy, the girlfriend, makes breakfast for Evan, the husband, every morning and Even no longer has to talk to his wife, Cassie, in the morning. Literally. This is one of the benefits. Bacon and no yapping with the wife in the mornings which got in the way of Evan’s “productivity”:

A typical day at our house begins at 6 a.m., when I grab my laptop from my bedside table and begin my work for Slate without getting dressed, or even out of bed. (I kept up my East Coast, 9–5 schedule after I moved to California, but I won’t claim to have done so with much grace.) When it was just the two of us, my wife’s breakfast and morning routine often got in the way of my early-morning productivity. I’d feel obliged to keep her company at breakfast, chat about our plans for the day, and help her find her missing shoe (under the blanket, dear, on the floor by the couch). Nowadays Cassie and her girlfriend, Mandy, get up at about 7. Mandy makes breakfast. She and Cassie feed and walk our dogs, plan their days, and commute together to their respective workplaces. I get a plate of bacon and eggs brought into the bedroom as I work.

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In exchange for not having to chat up his wife in the morning and getting bacon and eggs delivered to his desk, our hero will take out the trash if one of the ladies forgets, because between the three of them they can’t remember which day the trash man comes:

Lest I sound like a leech, I’ll add that having one of the three of us working from home has benefits for Mandy and Cassie as well. When we inevitably forget which day is trash day, I’m there to do a last-minute dash for the curb. I’m around to let a worker in to do repairs or receive a package, and often I’ve got extra time in the afternoon to take a dog to the vet or make a trip to the store.

This is starting to make sense.

An extra woman in the house helps with dishes and such, too:

It turns out that splitting household chores three ways is a lot easier than dividing them in two! With dishes, we rotate so that everyone has a luxurious two days off in between each day they spend scrubbing a pan. We each take responsibility for cooking dinner once a week, and then those of us who like to cook (Mandy and myself) work out the rest of the cooking informally between ourselves. Most of the cat feeding and care falls to me, while Mandy and Cassie largely take care of the dogs. I hate having to make calls for appointments, insurance, or home maintenance, so Cassie kindly takes them off my plate. We all do other little tasks as they come up, and when the whole house needs to be cleaned, the work goes quickly with all hands on deck.

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As for sleeping arrangements, Evan gets his own bed three nights a week which is awesome:

And, would you believe, it’s actually pretty nice to have a bed to stretch out on by myself three nights a week?

Oh, and … KA-CHING!

It’s probably not surprising that it’s great to have the income of an extra working adult as well. A rent we could afford as two becomes easy as pie with three, and there’s something extra relaxing about the nights when Mandy treats both of us out to dinner. It’s really common sense—if pooling resources between two people is good, pooling them with three is great!

Who could say no to this? It’s perfect!

***

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