Disgusting: Julie Roginsky Goes Full Hitler on Bari Weiss
Dem Rep. Ted Lieu Suggests 'Best Way to Oppose Fake News' and We...
Marco Drops the Gloves! State Department Sanctions European Leaders Who Censor Free Speech
Compare Crime Stats From Last Year of Biden to First Year of Trump...
Going Lower: Eric Swalwell Politicizes a Former GOP Rival's Terrible Cancer Diagnosis
Politico's Even MORE Annoying European Bureau Claims the 'Far Right' Is 'Stealing' Christm...
The New Yorker Has a Lot of People Asking Why They Deleted This...
Slow News Day: The Hill Reports That Adam Kinzinger Cancels His Paramount Plus...
BURN! El Salvador Prez Makes Hillary Clinton an Offer She WILL Refuse Regarding...
We Thought Eric Swalwell Had Achieved Peak Cringe. We Were Wrong
Hunter Biden Says We Don't Want Immigrants That Are Coming Here Illegally
Man Warns MAGA That He's Not the Guy to Attack and Will Go...
Report: Trump Flew on Epstein’s Plane Once With a 20-Year-Old Woman
Hot Take: Kids Should Not Be in Church Until They're 18, Otherwise It's...
Judge Jeb Boasberg Orders Return of More Than 200 Illegal Aliens Deported to...

CDC issues guidelines for 'safer sex' if you're infected with monkeypox

No, this isn’t The Babylon Bee.

The CDC issued new “safer sex” guidelines for those infected with monkeypox, a “rare disease caused by infection with the monkeypox virus” that causes a “rash that can look like pimples or blisters that appears on the face, inside the mouth, and on other parts of the body, like the hands, feet, chest, genitals, or anus.”

Advertisement

Our health experts at work!

Here are all of the CDC’s recommendations:

How can a person lower their risk during sex?

Talk to your partner about any recent illness and be aware of new or unexplained sores or rashes on your body or your partner’s body, including the genitals and anus. If you or your partner have recently been sick, currently feel sick, or have a new or an unexplained rash or sores, do not have sex and see a healthcare provider. This is always a good plan, even if monkeypox isn’t in your area.

If you or a partner has monkeypox, the best way to protect yourself and others is to not have sex of any kind (oral, anal, vaginal) and not kiss or touch each other’s bodies while you are sick, especially any rash or sores. Do not share things like towels, fetish gear, sex toys, and toothbrushes.

If you or your partner have (or think you might have) monkeypox and you decide to have sex, consider the following to reduce the chance of spreading the virus:

Advertisement
  • Have virtual sex with no in-person contact.

  • Masturbate together at a distance of at least 6 feet, without touching each other and without touching any rash or sores.

  • Consider having sex with your clothes on or covering areas where rash or sores are present, reducing as much skin-to-skin contact as possible.

  • Avoid kissing.

  • Remember to wash your hands, fetish gear, sex toys and any fabrics (bedding, towels, clothing) after having sex

  • Limit your number of partners to avoid opportunities for monkeypox to spread.

Hey, they’re the experts. We shouldn’t trust the science?

Well, we’re mocking the CDC because the CDC deserves to be mocked:

Advertisement

Are people this dumb?

Don’t answer that.

***

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement