Producer, writer and actor Michael Schur (“The Office,” “Parks and Recreations”), who tweets under the name @KenTremendous, unleashed this epically insulting thread where he proceeded to crap all over Thanksgiving. And we do mean all over Thanksgiving — the food, the tradition, the connection with family, with everything:
You have been conditioned, from birth, to think Thanksgiving food is good and important. You never had a vote. It's a religion, and you were indoctrinated. It's not fair, and it's not your fault. There is still time. Start over. Think about what you're eating. It's just not good.
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) November 25, 2020
For millions of Americans, this could be the only time they gather and see family members throughout the year. It DOES matter:
Your parents or relatives told you This Meal was more important than Other Meals. This Meal *matters,* for family reasons and America reasons and nebulous Other Reasons. It was a big deal! You had to dress up and your cousins came over and there was no school. It "Mattered."
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) November 25, 2020
One of his themes is that eating turkey is actually bad:
And year after year, you dressed up, and your cousins came over, and you ate This Meal. The Important Meal. And year after year, you secretly thought…why? Why is This Meal so Important. You'd had turkey before, obviously, but this turkey…is better, somehow?
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) November 25, 2020
Boy, he sounds fun to have at a party:
This turkey took hours to cook, and everyone made a Big Deal about it, how great it was and how incredible the cooks did preparing it. And you tasted it, and it…was turkey.
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) November 25, 2020
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He doesn’t like cranberries, too:
And then you had the mashed potatoes, and they were good, because they were soaking in butter, but also: you'd had those before. You hated the green beans and didn't eat them. Someone insisted you have cranberries, and you tried them and *they were nasty and awful.*
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) November 25, 2020
The thread just gets more and more insufferable:
Everyone talked about the stuffing, how it was The Best Part and Oh My God The Stuffing!, and You Have To Try The Stuffing!, so you did, and it was gross and dry and had a billion herbs that made you feel like you were licking a forest floor.
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) November 25, 2020
Add “gravy” to his list:
And then everyone talked about The Gravy, Oh Man The Gravy, The Gravy!!!!!, so you poured gravy on a little part of your turkey and it was thick and goopy and maybe made the turkey taste…different? At least it wasn't so dry. But why was everyone losing their minds?
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) November 25, 2020
This reminds us of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” except Schur never realizes that all of the food is not what’s important on a day set aside to give thanks:
You had some turkey and some potatoes and skipped right to pecan pie and ice cream. And as all the adults told each other that This Meal was incredible, and This Meal Was Just Perfect, and We Can't Wait For Leftovers Tomorrow!, somewhere, down deep, you knew they were wrong.
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) November 25, 2020
Belive it or not, he’s still going:
You weren't old enough or confident enough to stand up to them, but you knew: it was *fine.* Some of it — the cranberries and green beans and stuffing — was straight up gnarly. But you said nothing. Because *they* kept saying: It Is Amazing!
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) November 25, 2020
And going:
Now you're grown-up. You control your own life. You can break out of this horrible circular trap. You can admit now what you've always known.
It isn't worth it.
It's not that good.
Most of it is bad.
It takes *days* to make.
It. Isn't. Worth. It.
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) November 25, 2020
And going:
You can keep up the lies and fake enthusiasm if you want. The Turkey Is So Moist! The Potatoes Are So Fluffy! The Stuffing Is Mom's Recipe And She Always Made It The Best! The Cranberries Are Adequate! (Not even orthodox Thanksgiving acolytes can claim cranberries taste good.)
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) November 25, 2020
Nope, not done yet!
Or you can admit what you've always known. What you knew years ago, when you were a kid. This Meal is worse than almost every other meal you're going to eat this year, and it will have taken 1000x as long to make. Break out of the prison you're in. Open your eyes. Start fresh.
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) November 25, 2020
And here’s the last one:
Also there's a pandemic, so, just, everyone stay home.
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) November 25, 2020
Now, we know he tweets stuff like this out every year. Is it just a bit? Who knows. But with everything going on this year and with people near a breaking point, maybe don’t crap all over something that he knows is important to them?
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