We here at Twitchy try to stay focused on the serious issues of the world. Politics, our horrific legacy media, international affairs, whatever the heck George Takei is saying on any given day ... you know, the important stuff.
Every once in a while, though, we need to climb up somewhere high and sound our barbaric, 'WHAT THE HECK DID WE JUST READ???" over the roofs of the world.
Today is one of those times.
This weekend, Oscar-winning director, screenwriter, and actor Emerald Fennell sat down for an interview with Deadline and boldly announced her dream filmmaking project:
Emerald Fennell says she would love to make a ‘JURASSIC PARK’ film and pitches her own take — “Well, first and foremost, it’s very erotic.”
— DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm) November 26, 2023
“So, there’s a marriage between a man and a velociraptor and it’s basically a domestic drama.”
(via: https://t.co/QCGfIJu35e) pic.twitter.com/WetHI8jzIG
Yeah, we got nothin'. She does not appear to be joking.
Luckily, the internet was not nearly as speechless on the topic of Fennell's dream movie. People responded exactly how you might expect and that is why we love Twitter/X.
I already got the movie title for this one…
— The Bat Channel (@The_BatChannel) November 26, 2023
50 Shades of Blue 😂 https://t.co/HEtLYPEx3O pic.twitter.com/JAgpqcseXG
How about 'Last T-Rex In Paris'? 'Nine 1/2 Megaanna'?
Call us, @emeraldfennell pic.twitter.com/BrMEaW1fB4 https://t.co/ofAsf56tXR
— But With Raptors (@ButWitRaptors) November 27, 2023
We think Patrick Swayze might be happy he's not around to have his agent call him about this.
don’t let her do any of that https://t.co/pCDao6lst4 pic.twitter.com/c4Rx2StNwo
— gladstone gladiator (@dejasuniverse) November 27, 2023
Yes, please. Someone take her pen away from her. And her laptop. And her tablet. And her typewriter. And anything else she might use to write this monstrosity.
Obviously, at Twitchy, we are not naive. We understand that 'dinosaur erotica' is a thing that exists. Because, of course, it does. We Google these things for you, so you don't have to (besides, our FBI-assigned agent already thinks we are super weird).
We're not sure who this Christie Sims is, but we suggest therapy, medication, and lots of it. But she's not the only one out there who thinks of things like this.
Finally! Hollywood getting around to the mining the rich veins of dinosaur erotica available on Amazon: https://t.co/DG4spIJJQb pic.twitter.com/7Jy1cDgjtb
— Shut It Down. Goodnight. (@ShutItAIIDown) November 26, 2023
@chrisnodima here we go again.. pic.twitter.com/5yIDJ83VSM
— Grape-kun's PISSED! (@RickyBaker_2111) November 26, 2023
Yikes.
I know we're all asking for new and original ideas, BUT NOT THAT
— Lily* (@300mirrors) November 26, 2023
— 🍄Mother Girth🍄 (@machineelfmama) November 26, 2023
— Joshua 🇺🇲 (@aDrowsyPoet) November 26, 2023
That look may be etched onto our faces forever after hearing Fennell's pitch.
Erotic? Marriage? MAN AND VELOCIRAPTOR???? https://t.co/fFk9q8XiMU pic.twitter.com/XcMKWml2Bc
— william (@umWILLyes) November 27, 2023
Evolution has definitely hit a snag and we may need to go backwards to fix everything.
...okay but man x velociraptor divorce arc would actually be hilarious https://t.co/824scr8agu
— 🎲 matcha backup twono 🎲 (@matcher2023) November 27, 2023
We know they were only staying together to protect the clutch of eggs.
"I think humans and dinosaurs have gotten to that stage in their time together where things are starting to get quite thrilling. So, there’s a marriage between a man and a velociraptor and it’s basically a domestic drama.”
— Mike Clews (@Sinsterman96) November 27, 2023
Dinosaurs: https://t.co/zmsmKvJnt2 pic.twitter.com/kdLhNz74mF
It seems like it might be kind of abusive for the dinosaurs to be in this movie. Where's PETA?
white women need to sit their asses down somewhere https://t.co/4i3VAb05Kc
— A.K.A. JLongb0ne (@JonsLongs) November 26, 2023
OK, even though it doesn't appear to be a joke, what it does appear to be (and probably is) is a young director trying to get attention for herself by saying something outlandish. In that case, mission accomplished, Emerald Fennell.
That’s enough internet for today. https://t.co/zyXsNMs2zW pic.twitter.com/YSaOA1cbZF
— KaiserBob (@NickGra69335736) November 27, 2023
Way Too Much Internet Today https://t.co/npCCWxlbN6 pic.twitter.com/qQopOwoVjs
— Rhoderick Blacky Trayyy Courtney 🇺🇲 #GigaNigga (@Court1Rhoderick) November 26, 2023
Yeah, we can't blame you. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have to go find a nice, secluded location in which to vomit.
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