We hadn't heard of Stephanie Winn (@SomeTherapist) before but are delighted to have discovered her.
If your child comes out to you as a pirate, you should celebrate! It's wonderful news that he's discovered his true self. Plus, his coming out means he trusts you with the privilege of knowing something sacred and ineffable he discovered deep within himself.
— Stephanie Winn (@sometherapist) September 12, 2023
Make sure he feels… pic.twitter.com/Cvimsmc3Sq
If your child comes out to you as a pirate, you should celebrate! It's wonderful news that he's discovered his true self. Plus, his coming out means he trusts you with the privilege of knowing something sacred and ineffable he discovered deep within himself. Make sure he feels affirmed in his identity by swiftly offering to schedule the soonest available appointment with your friendly neighborhood pediatric surgeon. After all, how does the small cost of eye and hand removal surgeries compare to a lifetime of happiness living as his authentic identity? It's really a big fat nothingburger, so don't make it into a big deal! Most of all, be sure to ignore any haters who try to make you second guess your child's identity by talking about how piracy is "trending," or even worse, "contagious," like some sort of illness. Rest assured, social context has nothing to do with your kid's innermost sense that he needs a hook-hand! Child psychiatrists agree: he surely discovered this from a deep well of Truth within his precious wise old soul.
Not just good advice, but a treasure chest of satire!
Others were quick to offer sound conventional wisdom.
NEW AND IMPROVED thanks to @LurkingJenny! pic.twitter.com/AppWvdsxd2
— Stephanie Winn (@sometherapist) September 12, 2023
For full authenticity, safe households will withhold fruit to bring about scurvy. https://t.co/Sh9BvQxNtW
— unteach (@unteachinfo) September 12, 2023
Recommended
You want to be an affirming parent, don't you?
There's still time for an intervention! pic.twitter.com/YjbZSeejwC
— MikeSuggestsThinking (@Michael05529470) September 12, 2023
Sometimes I feel like a pirate, other times I feel more like a ninja. #nonbinary https://t.co/15CeUkFeKE
— Izanagi (@IzanagiRebirth) September 12, 2023
Whelp, we are already spawning off new identities. Just pray that pirate vampire furries doesn't become a thing.
My daughter Charcuterie (chirp/tweet) identifies as a parakeet and we are getting her special wings once her arms are removed.
— Dr. Jebra Faushay (@JebraFaushay) September 12, 2023
Dr. Faushay weighs in.
Exactly!! Why can’t others understand this!! My daughter is six and she loves coffee and to have a morning smoke.
— Janna M (@JannaM59) September 12, 2023
Here's a parent with empathy and compassion!
My daughter thought she was a mermaid so I threw her in the sea. Never seen her since but she is living as her true self. This is good parenting
— JJ (@veritasalways1) September 12, 2023
All the moms at the book club applauded and applauded.
When I was 8 I believed that I was Peter Pan. I spent an entire summer dressed up as Peter Pan. I would spend days up in trees. My parents refused to affirm my identity and now I'm just a boring middle aged man who can't fly and every day that I exist in this state is agony.
— Donald Keykong (@GamePlayingGamr) September 12, 2023
We feel your pain brother. We really do.
This poster is apparently part of a larger series.
— Stephanie Winn (@sometherapist) September 12, 2023
— Stephanie Winn (@sometherapist) September 12, 2023
It's almost as if there's a theme going on here ...
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