We kid you not. This was reported by CBS News.
Hyper-sexual "zombie cicadas" that are infected with sexually transmitted fungus expected to emerge this year. https://t.co/E4elwKmYzt
— CBS News (@CBSNews) April 5, 2024
They really wrote this. A national news division of a mega corporation wrote this. We're honestly glad they did because we get to do this.
Saw the "Zombie Cicadas" performing hyper sexual kink in the back room of a NJ swingers club. Didn't check for fungus for fear of infection
— BrunoNation (@TonyBrunoNation) April 5, 2024
For some, it was a stroll down memory lane.
— Silent Memejority (@memejority) April 5, 2024
For others, it was a sign of the times.
Jesus…
— Clandestine (@WarClandestine) April 5, 2024
Now we got slutty zombie cicadas?
Can we just get a normal day? Just one? pic.twitter.com/kin5ZfiaMA
Sorry, friend, 2024 is gonna be just like every year so far.
"Kasson urges people not to eat the cicadas"
— Nuclear Herbs (@NuclearHerbs) April 5, 2024
This sentence brought to you by the eat-the-bugs people at CBS News. pic.twitter.com/6Ss7sfe1RD
Right? Make up your mind, is eating bugs going to save us or not?
Why is there not a media hack specific brain eating STD? Granted its not much of a meal, but...
— Roy L. Fuchs 🇺🇸 (@cg_vet) April 6, 2024
Inquiring minds want to know!
Y’all get bought by the National Enquirer?
— Non Serviam (@ThomasServiam) April 5, 2024
Whoa, speak of the devil!
Thank you Joe Biden.
— Tracy 🇺🇸 (@TracyJHoban) April 5, 2024
LOL! Look, we know Joe is a screw up of epic proportions but, even we don't think you can pin this on him.
Recommended
So basically, the dating scene is just as bad everywhere.
— Ryan Chapline (@ryanchapline) April 5, 2024
Is it the [current year] after alll.
Sure sounds like one of the 7 Seals pic.twitter.com/cP4KTKDLMn
— WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot (@aleykhat_tx) April 5, 2024
For you Biblically inclined.
The word "expected" is an unusual choice here. https://t.co/uadmopZjp5
— Carl Benjamin (@Sargon_of_Akkad) April 5, 2024
Let's consult Biden Administration expert, Admiral Rachel Levine. Yep, expected.
I saw Hyper-Sexual Zombie Cicadas open up for Jane's Addiction at Bonaroo a few years ago. https://t.co/9mmbWT5HXw
— 𝓐𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓷 𝓡𝓪𝔂 42 (@2CynicAl65) April 5, 2024
No thread would be complete without a band reference.
So, in summary:
Yep. That's 2024 alright. https://t.co/efDoD7gqhW pic.twitter.com/XQi8nA53Vs
— Grateful Calvin (@shoveitjack) April 5, 2024
Not much else we can add.
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