Elie Mystal, the 'Justice Correspondent' for The Nation gifted Twitter/X with the takes to end all takes on the Hunter Biden indictment.
Get a load of this magnificent masterpiece. It's the Sistine Chapel of tweets.
Good job, Merrick Garland. Your weakness has orchestrated the indictment of a private citizen trying to overcome drug addiction so Republicans can try to hit a bank shot off of him to his loving father, all because you were afraid of looking "political" to Fox News viewers.
— Elie Mystal (@ElieNYC) September 14, 2023
It's got everything a fan of political Twitter/X insanity could hope for.
It's got misdirected anger at Merrick Garland because Trump's hasn't been shanked in general population.
It's got Hunter Biden cast as the poor drug-addicted child … of 53 years of age.
It's got Hunter as a simple 'private citizen'.
It's got Joe Biden as the 'loving father', being unfairly targeted by Republicans.
It's got a shot at Fox News.
And it's got the raging of the human Q-Tip.
It's beautiful.
He is not a private citizen, he's a privileged Ivy League educated lawyer in his 50s who made millions in a protection racket in foreign countries using his father, the former VPOTUS, as the frontman.
— AmishDude (@TheAmishDude) September 14, 2023
The last thing you give to a drug addict is access to millions of dollars.
Shhh. The despondent justice correspondent is having a moment.
Look at you out here being a good little soldier.
— Joanne Mason (@JoanneMason11) September 15, 2023
Must. Protect. Joe. Biden. Beep. Boop.
This tweet has every single buzzword/talking point from the WH in it.
— Vanessa (@Nessakins_) September 14, 2023
-private citizen
-overcome drug addiction
-loving father
-political indictment https://t.co/Ca3CYaffzb
It's funny that will still pretend White House Press Secretary is a role filled by a single person when a Democrat is in the White House.
Love to go to rehab, purchase a firearm by lying on a federal background check, then also have my girlfriend, who happens to be my brother's widow, dispose of the gun illegally in a trash can outside of a high school and blame it on two Hispanics I labeled as illegals. https://t.co/6OmgVB9qcz
— Stephen L. Miller (@redsteeze) September 14, 2023
It sounds bad, but you have to take the 'loving father' exemption into account.
They literally want him to get away with a crime simply because it reflects tangentially negatively on their candidate.
— Tandy (@dantypo) September 15, 2023
If this is not an outright political take, I don’t know what is. https://t.co/F3Vy4dFhtQ
You have to admire Elie's commitment to letting everyone know his opinion is worthless.
Suspend all gun laws for drug addicts would not be on my Bingo Card, if I had one. https://t.co/VLV3YzoclM
— TheMorningSpew2 (@TheMorningSpew2) September 14, 2023
It's about justice and stuff.
This is the funniest tweet I’ve ever seen. Bravo
— The Dank Knight 🦇 (@capeandcowell) September 14, 2023
I can't believe some of us still don't pay for this site.
Wait… is this for real??
— Petite Patriot (@Pamelajn922) September 15, 2023
It's so real … and it's glorious!
HE HAS A DRUG ADDICTION AND HIS FATHER LOVES HIM
— Damin Toell (@damintoell) September 14, 2023
When I tweeted this, I hadn't even noticed that Elie actually put in the "loving father" part. Beyond parody.
— Damin Toell (@damintoell) September 14, 2023
It's not even worth making stuff up anymore. Someone like Elie Mystal's just going to come along and do it for real.
What kind of country are we living in where private citizens with loving fathers can get indicted?? 😭
— Jonofarcadia 🦬 (@jonofarcadia) September 14, 2023
Literally Fascism. LOL.
Which step in the rehab process is illegally purchasing a gun?
— Steve B. On the Warpath (@steveb_67) September 14, 2023
Yeah … about that. It's more of a 13-step program.
Good news guys, if you get hooked on drugs, no other crimes you or your father commit count 🤷🏼♂️ https://t.co/B05xtGJZIk
— Billy Gribbin (@BillyGribbin) September 14, 2023
Whoa! WHOA! WHOA!!! He's joking, y'all.
Don't get any crazy ideas out there and start snorting lines of cocaine off of hookers.
Clown level 10. https://t.co/prfo6ofKTQ
— “Experts” = The Approved Narrative (@TsicsafPelosi) September 14, 2023
Seems a bit low.
You sit and try to come up with ridiculous and sarcastic tweets and then come across this unit. How in the world am I supposed to compete with this? https://t.co/HY9dQdMYFl pic.twitter.com/yc71e4itdt
— The Dank Knight 🦇 (@capeandcowell) September 14, 2023
It's a brave new world out there folks. We'll try to keep you informed of the crazy.
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