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Mike Drop: Americans go Boston Tea Party on British bloke over fainting redcoats

It all started with a story about British soldiers in the heat of London during a military parade.

Record scratch. Mike drop.

Okay, we don’t know if his name was actually Mike, but he dropped like a sack of potatoes … fried potatoes.


We gotta give the man props for keeping the horn to his lips and attempting to play on. The band did, in fact, play on as the tipsy trombonist even attempted to stand up and continue the tribute to Prince William.

Another soldier can be seen being whisked away in the background.

It’s really not funny to see a man passed out … trombone still in place … giant wavelength-sucking heat-absorbing bearskin hat still affixed to his head … as the band plays on. We’re going to hell, aren’t we?

Americans couldn’t help but point out that the ‘scorching’ temperature of 30° Celsius is equivalent to 86° Fahrenheit – not hot by the standards of many Americans.

One bitter Brit got more than he bargained for when he expressed his anger at Americans saying 86° isn’t really all that hot.


He’s spent summers in the Deep South in the U.S. and in the U.K., and the U.K. summers are worse, folks.


‘Honey, it’s supposed to be a bit warm in Poughkeepsie today. Turn up the AC!’

Yes, British soldiers pass out when they’re outside because Americans have air conditioning inside.

It turns out, by they way that this poor bombarded bloke is likely 180° wrong (that’s 82° Celsius, by the way).

Fainting faceplants among British soldiers on parade is not a new phenomenon at all.

Here’s Queen Elizabeth II passing a toppled troop in 1970.

It’s so common, in fact, that the British military studied the phenomenon and found they could decrease the chances of fainting if they acclimated vulnerable troops ahead of time by exposing them to heat.

In other words, it’s likely this is less a problem in America because Americans are acclimated to higher outside temperatures than our former oppressors.


Exactly. Our AC units allow us to be comfortable when indoors, but most of us are quite accustomed to much higher temperatures than 86°F.

For those of us who are Gen X or older, many of us spent our entire childhood without an AC unit. We’d fire up the window fans on those 90° nights and alternate between sweating and being chilly as the fan blew across the sweat. Good times!

Now that’s hot!

The bearskin hat is KILLING us. LOL.

‘Aye, ya kent bluh-y live wi-out it!’


Many people blamed the locking of the knees, which has been known to cause fainting.

It’s also true, however, that heat you’re not accustomed to will slow your heart rate down, make you dizzy, and eventually lead to passing out.

Hey, you’d be a bit worse-for-wear if you were feverishly tweeting through a torrid 75° (24°C) afternoon while being British.

The globe experienced a Little Ice Age from the 16th through the 19th centuries – perfect timing to allow the heat-intolerant Brits to conquer much of the world. LOL.

Ouch. Shut. Down.

Bwahaha! Never leave home without your portable bearskin hat AC unit.


He wasn’t prepared to take the ‘L’, so the pummeling continued.

LOL. Football … ‘the real one’.

Their long-term plan, you see, was to pay for air conditioning with tea taxes. Oops.

Arizona wipes a bead of sweat from its brow and says ‘Did you say somethin’ about heat, partner?’

Many of us across the country grew up this way, and our parents didn’t have AC until well into adulthood.

Modern folks are soft.


That’s possible because we had the good sense and decency not to have a king.

LOL. You take a shot at America and we shoot back.

And when you know you’ve been defeated …

LOL. Hey, bro, if you can’t take the heat … you’re probably British.

To be fair, Americans having guns has been a sore issue with the British for a very long time.


LOLOLOL! That should solve the problem.


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