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Bud Light marketing VP, Alissa Heinerscheid, has been canned

In its first real move to try to crawl out of the crater Bud Light created by self-nuking with the Dylan Mulvaney disaster, the beer company has announced a leave of absence by its VP of marketing, Alissa Heinerscheid. In other words, they canned her … at least we think so.

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Our assumption: Being fired is just choosing to identify as a leave of absence at the moment.

She managed to tank the brand in less than a year by embracing ‘inclusivity’. Her stated goal was to move away from Bud Light’s ‘fratty’ image to a brand that appealed to both men and women … so she got an endorsement from a man dressed as a woman in a bathtub.

Well done, real woman of genius.

LOL. That’s how it’s going to be, eh? Fine, we’ll play.

(If you’re not into dad jokes, just beer with us for a moment.)

‘Amid a brewing controversy and a growing chorus of booze from former customers, Bud Light has finally come to lager-heads with marketing VP, Alissa Heinerscheid, identifying her as the problem that ales them. In their most stout response yet, the company has chosen to draught global marketing VP, Todd Allen, to fill the role. In other words, they fired her, but just barley. The leave of absence will give her time to liquor wounds before a quiet exit.’

Sorry folks … had to be done. Moving on now.

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The ‘leave of absence’ nonsense seams incredibly weak-kneed, Bud Light. Just fire her. She nearly singlehandedly destroyed your brand.

Imagine costing your company $5 billion in value and getting a ‘leave of absence’.

The pickle has a point.

This sounds about right to us too.

Ha! Chalk another win up for the patriarchy!

Nice! He’s referring, of course, to the cringe photo Ted Lieu appeared in while posing with a Bud Light.

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That’s just sad. Ted Lieu and Adam Schiff could use a leave of absence.

LOLOLOL!

‘Leave of absence’ is likely just the new term for unemployment-affirming care.

It appears it’s going to take more than ejecting a lone VP to convince some people to buy Bud Light again.

Based on these replies, Todd’s pronouns are he/screwed.

Perfect.

It’s really not that difficult. Sell your stuff and shut up.

Execs and marketing personnel who care more about personal political agendas than the company’s bottom line are a plague on American business. Make it stop.

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Bwahaha!

Cheers!

Well done, Miss ‘put your product in a bathtub with a man pretending to be a girl’ marketing lady. We salute you!


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