Climate Change Reportedly Driving Child Marriage as Families Struggle to Survive
Indiana Lt. Governor Calls for Ban on Mosques Broadcasting Call to Prayer Over...
Like a Rolling Stone: Mick Jagger Tells ‘The Boss’ Audiences Get No Satisfaction...
Harmeet Dhillon Says Her Civil Rights Team Is On Christian Preacher Threatened With...
Gov. Tim Walz Says Minnesota Stands With Houston, Where Illegal Tried to Run...
Man Who Recruited Platner Barred From Rep. Summer Lee's Campaign Over Sexual Misconduct...
Slither River: Large Scale Disaster Sends a Venomous Nile of Reptiles Flooding into...
WA Superintendent of Schools: It's Inaccurate to Say Biologically That There Are Only...
FAKE NEWS! Ro Khanna Goes Full Greta Thunberg With 'Detention' Stunt on a...
Randi Weingarten Being Harassed by Congress for Using Teachers' Dues to Promote Her...
FBI Calls MS NOW's Scoop on Kash Patel Being Called to the White...
Shattering the Irony Meter: Ellen Page Rants Against 'Vile Losers' Who Can't Accept...
Try Listening to Tim Walz's Argument Against Deporting a Child Rapist He Pardoned...
For Jim Acosta, Questioning Election Results Is Only 'the Big Lie' If a...
Zohran's Got Some 'Splainin' to Do: Mamdani Admin Gets Caught Setting Up Meetings...

Lay OFF the Pumpkin Spice, Honey: Salena Zito Schools Democrat Jess Piper on White Women Voters

White women rejoice! The Dirt Road Democrat herself, Jess Piper, is here to lead you to the promised land! Wives, moms, sisters alike, Jess is here to save you from the domineering oppression of the men in your life. Jess knows, unless you're a dude, competing as a female olympic boxer, that you are the weaker sex. She knows that there is no way that you could overcome your feminine inferiority and resist the toxic masculinity of your, husbands, fathers, or preachers, and just vote the way you see fit! She doesn't even believe that, without her intervention, you could ever know your vote was private. Well, not unless your men told you, and why would they ever do that? 

Advertisement

But it's oaky. Just calm down and keep your Uggs on! You are not doomed to vote the way your men tell you. Just vote the way Jess tells you and be set free!

One thing becomes abundantly clear after you stop laughing long enough to catch your breath. There is no way Jess knows any conservative women. Just ask a conservative guy. Ain't no way we're telling her how to vote. If there's a sign in the yard, trust us, she approved it, and it better not be blocking the view of her hydrangeas! Believe us when we tell you, there is no way she knows any conservative women. 

But after posting this ridiculousness she was about to meet a few. Jess needed to learn and school was about to start. 

Advertisement

It's so good having Selena back and she nails it here. Shame voting may work on the mindless, single issue voters on the left. The 'Vote Your Uterus' sect have been herding these leftist sheep for years. But conservative women are different. They think for themselves. They are not afraid to let their voices be heard or to express their opinions. As Jess soon found out.

It just doesn't look like the ladies agree with Jess' assumptions about us, terrible, toxic, men. Who knew?

When addressing liberal women it is helpful to make sure you specify which definition of woman you're using. They get confused easily. 

Advertisement

This is where things get serious. Have you ever been to a youth hockey game? You learn quick that you just don't mess with hockey moms! No one knows this better than hockey dads!

Sound? If it waddles like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's probably a crazy liberal chick! 

That's how the saying goes. Right? 

In any case, the seeking help was good advice. Maybe she can grab a Pumpkin Spice Latte on the way to therapy. 

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement