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Lay OFF the Pumpkin Spice, Honey: Salena Zito Schools Democrat Jess Piper on White Women Voters

White women rejoice! The Dirt Road Democrat herself, Jess Piper, is here to lead you to the promised land! Wives, moms, sisters alike, Jess is here to save you from the domineering oppression of the men in your life. Jess knows, unless you're a dude, competing as a female olympic boxer, that you are the weaker sex. She knows that there is no way that you could overcome your feminine inferiority and resist the toxic masculinity of your, husbands, fathers, or preachers, and just vote the way you see fit! She doesn't even believe that, without her intervention, you could ever know your vote was private. Well, not unless your men told you, and why would they ever do that? 

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But it's oaky. Just calm down and keep your Uggs on! You are not doomed to vote the way your men tell you. Just vote the way Jess tells you and be set free!

One thing becomes abundantly clear after you stop laughing long enough to catch your breath. There is no way Jess knows any conservative women. Just ask a conservative guy. Ain't no way we're telling her how to vote. If there's a sign in the yard, trust us, she approved it, and it better not be blocking the view of her hydrangeas! Believe us when we tell you, there is no way she knows any conservative women. 

But after posting this ridiculousness she was about to meet a few. Jess needed to learn and school was about to start. 

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It's so good having Selena back and she nails it here. Shame voting may work on the mindless, single issue voters on the left. The 'Vote Your Uterus' sect have been herding these leftist sheep for years. But conservative women are different. They think for themselves. They are not afraid to let their voices be heard or to express their opinions. As Jess soon found out.

It just doesn't look like the ladies agree with Jess' assumptions about us, terrible, toxic, men. Who knew?

When addressing liberal women it is helpful to make sure you specify which definition of woman you're using. They get confused easily. 

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This is where things get serious. Have you ever been to a youth hockey game? You learn quick that you just don't mess with hockey moms! No one knows this better than hockey dads!

Sound? If it waddles like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's probably a crazy liberal chick! 

That's how the saying goes. Right? 

In any case, the seeking help was good advice. Maybe she can grab a Pumpkin Spice Latte on the way to therapy. 

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