Well, it appears to be official: You can take cocaine (or maybe even a more dangerous substance) into the White House without the world eventually knowing your identity.
Surely there are exceptions to this new rule, but as things stand right now the Secret Service is saying, according to reports and a GOP congressman who attended a briefing, we're not going to know who this particular culprit was:
Breaking: The Secret Service has concluded its investigation into the small bag of cocaine found at the White House and has been unable to identify a suspect, two sources familiar with the investigation tell mehttps://t.co/SDWT3bgDrE
— Jeremy Diamond (@JDiamond1) July 13, 2023
The Secret Service has concluded its investigation into the bag of cocaine found at the White House and has been unable to identify a suspect, per @JDiamond1.
— Kaitlan Collins (@kaitlancollins) July 13, 2023
Miranda Devine is among those who are NOT shocked:
We interrupt this program to bring you the least surprising news of the week: White House cocaine investigation concluded, no suspect ID’d: Secret Service https://t.co/n4gkmC2PtM
— Miranda Devine (@mirandadevine) July 13, 2023
From the NY Post:
The Secret Service has ended its investigation into cocaine found in the West Wing of the White House without identifying a suspect, a GOP congressman told The Post Thursday.
Rep. Tim Burchett (R-Tenn.) stormed out of a briefing offered to lawmakers moments after it began, calling the conclusion “bogus.”
“They have facial identification, they have — y’all know you can’t go in there without giving your Social Security number, and they decided it’s just some weekend visitor,” Burchett said. “That’s bogus. Nobody’s buying that at all.”
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And you know what that means people will be free to conclude:
It’s official - it was Hunter’s 😂
— Catturd ™ (@catturd2) July 13, 2023
Secret Service are CLOSING White House cocaine investigation https://t.co/dh8pjqBNIM via @MailOnline
Government investigators could find a grandma who broke wind within 50 yards of the U.S. Capitol on January 6th but tracking down who brought a bag of coke into the White House was just too much to hope for, apparently.
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