Reports: Secret Service probe into the WH bag of cocaine has concluded (you WON'T be shocked)

Doug P. | 11:22 AM on July 13, 2023

Well, it appears to be official: You can take cocaine (or maybe even a more dangerous substance) into the White House without the world eventually knowing your identity.

Surely there are exceptions to this new rule, but as things stand right now the Secret Service is saying, according to reports and a GOP congressman who attended a briefing, we're not going to know who this particular culprit was:

Breaking: The Secret Service has concluded its investigation into the small bag of cocaine found at the White House and has been unable to identify a suspect, two sources familiar with the investigation tell mehttps://t.co/SDWT3bgDrE
— Jeremy Diamond (@JDiamond1) July 13, 2023

The Secret Service has concluded its investigation into the bag of cocaine found at the White House and has been unable to identify a suspect, per @JDiamond1.
— Kaitlan Collins (@kaitlancollins) July 13, 2023

Miranda Devine is among those who are NOT shocked:

We interrupt this program to bring you the least surprising news of the week: White House cocaine investigation concluded, no suspect ID’d: Secret Service https://t.co/n4gkmC2PtM
— Miranda Devine (@mirandadevine) July 13, 2023

From the NY Post:

The Secret Service has ended its investigation into cocaine found in the West Wing of the White House without identifying a suspect, a GOP congressman told The Post Thursday.
Rep. Tim Burchett (R-Tenn.) stormed out of a briefing offered to lawmakers moments after it began, calling the conclusion “bogus.”
“They have facial identification, they have — y’all know you can’t go in there without giving your Social Security number, and they decided it’s just some weekend visitor,” Burchett said. “That’s bogus. Nobody’s buying that at all.”