Newsweek presents a ratio-worthy theory why tanning salons are 'opening in LGBT neighborhoods,' facepalms ensue

The temperature of the following hot take is incredibly high, so it comes with an oven mitt warning before attempting to handle this:

Tanning salons could be targeting gay men by opening in LGBT neighborhoods, putting them at risk of cancer https://t.co/6hy8hltrKu

— Newsweek (@Newsweek) October 5, 2019

Wow, it seems that a Catch-22 has been created:

Tanning salon chooses not to open a salon in an LGBT neighborhood = discrimination

Tanning salon chooses to cater to LGBT wish for salon close to home = putting them at risk of cancer

— Judgmental Cornpop (@DocKilmer) October 5, 2019

Imagine the Newsweek spin if a Chick-fil-A opened in an LGBT neighborhood!

This is the stupidest headline I've ever read.

And I've read a lot of them. https://t.co/T2yNxGyUnt

— chad John Wallis – virgin Newton (@ChadJohnWallis) October 5, 2019

The replies to your article aren't very positive, @kashmiragander

— Cameron Gray (@Cameron_Gray) October 5, 2019

It’s an epic ratioing:

That's called market research. How is this in any way sinister?

— Isla Mae (@MarcelaAurelias) October 5, 2019

Have you all ever heard of supply and demand??

— zeke (@EzkMorales) October 5, 2019

When you have no idea how businesses work, you come up with idiotic nonsense like this.

Did it ever occur to you knuckleheads that they're opening in LGBT neighborhoods because LGBT people, especially gay men, might tan more than other people? https://t.co/gQaVO46Ebr

— Eric Spencer (@JustEric) October 5, 2019

I really can't believe someone actually wrote this.

— CRB82 (@bliss1982) October 5, 2019

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"targeting" = going where there is a demand for the service https://t.co/NUF7Qoghfb

— (((RichardGCombs))) (@rgcombs) October 5, 2019

The Straightriarchy is sneaky. https://t.co/cK8jV90qQR

— Mike Partyka (@MichaelJPartyka) October 5, 2019

The connections these stories try to make get more and more insane every day.

Tomorrow: "Pencils! Tools of Oppression" https://t.co/ovNYRmQheD

— Fusilli Spock (@awstar11) October 5, 2019

Did the memo go out that "Big Tan" is the new designated target? https://t.co/vY9SJjuuSr

— Cranky Gordon (@StillCrankyAF) October 5, 2019

Whoever paid $1 for you got ripped off

— Duchess of Birthday Months AnnaD (@AnnaDsays) October 5, 2019

Those homophobes really play the long game…..

— Atnor (@Atnor) October 5, 2019

Here’s Newsweek’s next assignment:

Now do abortion clinics https://t.co/NS5SkbM1k7

— Robert Kroese (@robkroese) October 5, 2019

::Crickets::