BREAKING: Why has Katie Hobbs ceased being governor of Arizona until tomorrow morning?
Tucker on X: Bill O’Reilly is NOT doing it live
Kamala Harris-endorsed MN Freedom Fund board chair charged with fentanyl possession
LCS Game Changers: Move over ladies, the gamer dudes will take it from...
GOP Rep. Burchett levels guy that asks him if he supports 'Trump’s call...
You have to watch this ad from Mission: Democracy about conservatives
GOP debate vs. Trump rally … who's watching?
Harry Sisson's birthday wish goes HILARIOUSLY awry
Writer who explains complex information explains how wire transfers work
Pillow talk screenshot with Matt Gaetz seems to prove Cassidy Hutchinson lied ......
Why don't they take millionaire Target CEO's income and hire more security guards?
BREAKING: Read the letter from Burisma and Hunter Biden to the Ukrainian prosecutor
White House spokesman excusing Hunter Biden's 'period of turmoil' comes back for more...
WaPo makes startling discovery: Texas has a lot of guns
Senate passes Manchin-Romney SHORTS Resolution - John Fetterman will have to dress up...

'Illegal use of hands': NY Jets' Kellen Winslow denies masturbating in vehicle; Mockery inferno ignites

New York Jets wide receiver Kellen Winslow was arrested last November for possession of synthetic marijuana. According to the police report quoting a witness, Winslow was also doing something else in his vehicle:

Advertisement

Other details from the police report, via NJ.com:

The cop noticed Winslow was wearing “dark colored” sweatpants and wrote that “his genitals were not exposed.” But the cop also noticed “two open containers of Vaseline on his center console” and plastic bags marked “Mr. Happy” and empty plastic containers of “Funky Monkey” scattered throughout the vehicle.

Winslow allegedly told police he smoked the “Mr. Happy” and “Funky Monkey” at his home to relax because the NFL doesn’t drug test for it, and that he buys the stuff on the internet and at gas stations.

Winslow claims the masturbation allegation in the police report is false:

Advertisement

In spite of Winslow’s denial, he has already been convicted in the court of Twitter mockery:


https://twitter.com/MVroom_Vroom/status/424250793165094912

Advertisement


https://twitter.com/TheReelAnderson/status/424217728405090305


https://twitter.com/JammieWF/status/424213096211558400

Winslow’s publicist claims he had just stopped to “change clothes”:

https://twitter.com/NFLonFOX/status/424250594803462145/

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement