Today is Earth Day, which means it’s time for a fresh round of alarmism and breathless reminders about arbitrary deadlines from politically motivated progressives. But it’s not all doom and gloom! As the USA Today has graciously noted on its front page, progressive alarmists might let you keep some of your stuff, if you’re lucky:

Oh really?

Right?

Hey, why does that sound so familiar? *eye roll*

But if Bill de Blasio has his way, skyscrapers will be a thing of the past.