Remember last month when Amtrak made the bizarre decision to call the riots taking place in and around Washington DC's Union Station 'First-Amendment Related Events' in their tweet encouraging passengers to allow more time than normal to arrive at and board their trains? We wrote about it at the time, and if you haven't read up on it you absolutely should because it was hillarious in its stupidity.
Well, out on the left coast the LAPD seems to have looked at that tweet and, unlike the rest of us, thought 'hey, that's a great way to phrase that! Hold my beer.'
The LAPD is aware of possible first amendment activity in the Los Angeles area over the next few days. In coordination with the US Secret Service, additional uniformed personnel and other resources will be deployed to ensure the highest level of public safety.
— LAPD HQ (@LAPDHQ) December 8, 2023
'Mostly peaceful first amendment activity' right?
"Due to a first amendment issue, the windows and property of your friends and family may be in danger, especially if you're Jewish."
— ArchLobster 🇪🇨 🇺🇸 (@ArchLobster) December 8, 2023
Translation? Unruly Jew haters will be taking to the streets of Los Angeles and causing trouble.
— Lex_571 🇺🇸 (@Lex_491) December 8, 2023
Riots?
— SoOverIt (@anypigslft2) December 8, 2023
Shhhhh, don't say that word! That's only what we call it when they're not traditional Democratic Party voting blocs that do it!
sorry possible what?
— 𦐨 Nepenthe Wang (@syntacticalcrab) December 8, 2023
This is a parody account, right?
— AmandaTheFarmer (@BoulderBabeC2) December 8, 2023
And why exactly does the possibility of constitutionally-protected activity warrant increased police presence?
— Emily M (@emilynm41) December 8, 2023
Recommended
We won't hold our breath waiting for an answer on this one.
Could be anything really. People standing on their lawns reading from their pocket constitutions maybe? https://t.co/IJVZlpxbrg
— Stephen L. Miller (@redsteeze) December 8, 2023
"first amendment activity" is such an odd term. https://t.co/zfg0IfDKJw
— Jeryl Bier (@JerylBier) December 8, 2023
“Possible first amendment activity” is such an unsettlingly dystopian phrase https://t.co/r0l69avl4E
— Kristi Yamaguccimane (@TheWapplehouse) December 8, 2023
It does have very 'Big Brother' quality to it, doesn't it? Like something cooked up by the boys down at the Ministry of Truth.
What “first amendment activity” would that be? Freely religioning? Freely peaceably assembling? Freely speaking? Freely printing? Freely petitioning the government for a redress of grievances?
— Johnson McBoomstick (@johnsonstickk) December 8, 2023
Odd way to describe an antisemitic riot, but ok.
— Jim Wahoo (@RichmondWahoo) December 8, 2023
“First Amendment activity” is now a public safety concern?
— Mhandisi (@Mhandisi84) December 8, 2023
This has GOT to be a parody account!
To paraphrase another Orwell novel, 'The Twitter users looked from parody to reality, and from reality to parody, and from parody to reality again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.'
We hope everyone stays safe from these 'First Amendment activities' in LA, but if you plan to stay safe relying on the LAPD to help you do it might not be the best plan. They're already pretty heavily signaling where their allegiances lie here, or at least where whoever runs their media accounts allegiances lie. No wonder they're having so much trouble recruiting new officers that their police manpower has dropped to the lowest point it's been since the 1990's. Who'd want to work there?
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