Everybody loves a good steak, right? It's hard to beat a nice hunk of beef that's been dry aged before cooking, giving it that tender quality you can only get after allowing the natural enzymes in the meat to break down its enzymes. But the question is how long to dry age it. A week? Two? Maybe a Month?
Maybe 3000 years?
this is a preserved beef shoulder from over 3000 years ago.
— owen cyclops (@owenbroadcast) October 19, 2023
the metropolitan museum of art found it near the entrance of a cliff tomb in thebes in the early 1900s. its wrapped in linen in a wood box.
its from ~1500 BC. this is a biblical era piece of beef: pic.twitter.com/jI1j1vyjOh
Looks appetizing, huh?
Of course nobody's going to be eating this museum piece which currently resides safely on view at the Met 5th Avenue in New York City but that doesn't stop people from dreaming.
Slice it against the grain. https://t.co/hH7USZMAlS
— Chef Andrew Gruel (@ChefGruel) October 19, 2023
The forbidden 1.25 million day dry-aged beef https://t.co/4ClzqL3BFn
— Gift of Trees of Draught of Barrel (@IntractableLion) October 19, 2023
Forbidden beef jerky
— Nick Smart (@nick96smart) October 19, 2023
Sometimes things are forbidden for a reason though...
Throw this in the sous vide for an hour and it will soften right up
— Andrew ₿entley 🇺🇸 (@Abentley77) October 19, 2023
That'll do it!
How long until we see some YouTuber frying this bad boy up coated in Cheeto dust and franks hot sauce in a PREHISTORIC STEAK VS A1 WAGYU cook off
— chorx (@chorx) October 19, 2023
Can't be long now.
Some obnoxious "chef" YouTuber:
— Flex Offender™️ (@betterlotus) October 19, 2023
"We're gonna be reverse searing this baby & bathing it in butter, thyme & garlic to see if this dry aged steak is really as killer as we think it will be."
*Chars it* "Look at that, a perfect rare."
*Takes one bite & throws up violently.*
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We'd watch that, if we're being honest.
With all of the bad news in the world it can be easy to think that everything on Twitter (and in the world around us) is deadly serious all the time, so sometimes it's nice to step back and enjoy the silliness around us too. Laughter, as they as, is the best medicine... even for creeping existential dread.
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